Hermione Granger & the Black Romance
by MissHunter
Summary: Hermione is sent back in time by the Room of Requirement and finds herself part of the Marauders. Remus comes out the closet, James&Lily almost break up and Sirius falls in love. Apologies now for the gaping plot holes, it's my first fic.
1. i've been the needle and the thread

Hermione slammed her books down loudly onto a table in the Gryffindor common room. Harry and Ron exchanged looks darkly, but knew not to ask. She had been like this for a few weeks, ever since Ron had been dating Lavender. Neither of the boys really knew why. They assumed it was because Hermione resented the intrusion to their close knit group of 3 or because she did not like Lavender. Both of them were much too dense to realise it was because Hermione had liked Ron for ages, and had even considered telling him before she saw him and Lavender with each other's tongues down their throat. Even the memory now made her eyes prickle with faint tears. She raised a hand to her face and brushed them anyway, with a haughty sigh to cover up the fact she was upset.

A scroll and quill lay in front of her, along with her charms book. Page 57 was the homework, an essay on charmed objects and their advantages and disadvantages. Hermione knew, having read the Daily Prophet this morning, that there had been problems recently. Ever since You-Know-Who's come back had been admitted by the Ministry, people had been trying to protect themselves. This included objects that contained the shield charm, but the shields had been malfunctioning. Instead of preventing spells coming in, they prevented spells going out. It was an easy enough essay but Hermione was not in the mood. Particularly as Lavender had just crawled through the entrance of the common room, and thrown herself onto Ron. So, she collected up her stuff, dumped it in her bag and left.

'Hermione, where are you going?' Harry called to her, worried about the state his friend was in.

'Away. I need to get out of here,' she replied without looking back or waiting for him.

Hermione walked down corridors, not knowing where she was going. She passed Draco looking upset but did not give it too much thought. She bumped into Ginny and Dean, who seemed too wrapped up in each other to worry about her. Various students were hexing each other, not caring about the detentions they could get. Peeves was throwing flour bombs onto any first years, but Hermione did not think to stop him. She even saw Luna, who told her not to worry, as they wouldn't last anyway and to take the next left. She wasn't sure if Luna actually knew what was wrong or was just warning her about Snurkles or whatever they were called but it was the most useful thing she had heard all today so she took Luna's advice. It led to part of the castle she recognised. The Room of Requirement was near here. Maybe Luna did know what she was talking about.

And there it was, the door. Hermione took a nervous glance around, but there was no one around. She pushed the door open, and walked in. The room was as she had never seen it before. It was small, with nothing but a table in the middle that had a giant hour. It looked like a large version of the time turner she'd had three years ago. Hermione shrugged, got her wand out and repeated the words that were on inscribed on the hour glass. The Room of Requirement had always been a positive experience and she hoped it knew what it was doing now. Her wand expelled a bright pink light from the end that seemed to curl around the hour glass like ribbons. She nervously followed the light, and touched the hour glass. The minute she did, she felt a jerking sensation around her navel. 'Portkey' her brain thought, as her body was thrown. She landed, with a bump, back onto the cold floor of the Room of Requirement. Not fully understanding what had just happened, she pushed herself up and looked around. It looked almost the same as the room she had just left, with the exception of a boy about her age in the corner looking upset. At first glance, he looked handsome with dark messy hair and grey eyes you could get lost in. He gave her a startled look and wiped his eyes, immediately transforming from upset to angry.

'Who are you?'


	2. weaving figure eights and circles

'Who are you?'

Hermione clapped her hand over her mouth to stop herself saying jinx as they had both spoken at the same time. He did not look like the sort of boy that would take a childish muggle game well. He looked at her, expecting her to answer, but her mouth was still covered.

'I'm Sirius,' he said quietly. She noticed how he did not mention his surname at all, and then took another look at him. It couldn't be! And yet, taking a closer look, she still saw that mischievous spark in his eyes that he had retained to his adulthood. He did not look as haunted as she was used to, but there was still a great sense of tragedy surrounding him. It was him, it was Sirius Black. She looked back at the portkey, but it had gone. Her brain quickly whirred. It must have been both a portkey and a time turner, travelling in space and time. And now she was back in 1976, with Harry's parents and Ron's parents, and lots of other familiar faces, just like the one in front of her. No wonder Sirius did not mention his surname. He was ashamed to be a Black.

'I'm Rachel,' Hermione lied quickly. A gut feeling told her not to reveal her real name. 'What are you doing here?'

'None of your business,' he said abruptly. 'I could ask you the same question. In fact, I've never even seen you around Hogwarts. You've broken in, haven't you?'

Hermione raised her eyebrows disdainfully. Was she the only person to have ever read A History of Hogwarts?

'You can't break in to Hogwarts,' she said, haughtily and crossed her arms, looking down her nose at him. 'Haven't you read A History of Hogwarts? There are spells to stop intruders.'

He gave her a cheeky grin. 'You really don't know who I am.' He almost sounded disappointed. 'I don't read. I misbehave, I eat, I can dance if it comes down to it but I do not read.'

I know who you are, thought Hermione. You're Harry's godfather, you're James's best friend, you are an escaped convict from Azkaban, you are innocent, you are dead and right now you're extremely irritating. He was handsome, but seemed to know it and was arrogant about it. She realised she wasn't saying anything and that the atmosphere was getting slightly awkward. She also realised she had nowhere to stay tonight and did not know how to get back. Time to invent.

'Well, I've only just started Hogwarts. I used to go to Beubeauxand, but my parents and I have moved over to England so I've had to start Hogwarts half way through the term,' Hermione explained, smiling sweetly and hoping that he wouldn't ask too many questions as she knew precious little about the other Wizarding school in France. Sirius seemed to take it in his stride, however, and smiled brightly back at her, the boy that she'd seen at the beginning disappearing. Luckily, the only question he asked her was what house she was in.

'Gryffindor,' she said confidently. She wouldn't have to lie about that, she knew it very well. 'Thing is, I'm a bit forgetful and can't remember the password. You wouldn't happen to know anyone from Gryffindor, would you?'

Sirius seemed to believe this too, and offered his own company as help.

'We'll head up to the common room and I'll introduce you to everyone.' He paused and gave her a crooked smile. 'Well, everyone important.'


	3. round your head

'Glowing gobstoppers,' Sirius proclaimed loudly to the Fat Lady.

'Alright, alright,' she moaned and hung out the way. She gave Hermione a peculiar look, as though she knew that she did not belong but recognized her as a Gryffindor. Hermione swore she hear the picture whisper 'Be careful.'

The common room was alive with people and noise. Two boys seemed to playing a game of exploding chess. No doubt Ron would enjoy that. Ron. Hermione's heart leapt. Hopefully the Room of Requirement would provide her with a way back, too, but at the moment she wanted to have fun. She bent down to whisper to one of them.

'Be careful of his rook.' He quickly glanced up at her, gave her a shy smile and scanned the board. He gave a little nod as he noticed a rook that, in a few moves, would be able to check mate. Sirius, having been conferring with James for a few minutes, grabbed Hermione's hand and hoisted her onto a chair so that everyone could see her.

'Everyone,' he shouted. 'This is Rachel, she's new and she's Gryffindor.' A few people cheered at the word Gryffindor, one boy wolf whistled and there were a few uneasy mutters but most people seemed to accept her presence. Sirius dragged her down and back over to the chess game.

'Meet the only people worth knowing. This is Remus and James.' Hermione 's eyes widened with shock. The guy she'd helped with Remus Lupin. Her teacher a few years ago, and, in some respects, her friend. The Order of the Phoenix were like a family to her, which he was part of. And James. Hermione found herself trembling. It was like coming face to face with Harry, albeit a slightly hotter, less geeky Harry.

'N..nice to meet you,' she found herself stuttering, trying not to give anything away. A young girl came over and sat next to James, placing her arm around his waist trying to distract him but he batted him off. She was beautiful, with long ginger hair and bright green eyes. Hermione could feel Sirius stare at her wistfully. So, he was in a similar position to her. He was in love with someone that he could not have.

The girl merely giggled at James's rebuttals, as though she knew he didn't mean them and turned to Hermione and smiled.

'Hello, Rachel. I'm Lily.' Of course, Harry's mum. Hermione felt very bizarre. What Harry would be willing to give to be in her position. Well, she better make the most of it. She chatted to Lily for a while, waiting for the boys to finish their game.

Sirius edged towards Lily, joining in the conversation and trying to make her laugh. However, all her attention was on James who, every few minutes, she would gaze at and smile softly. Sirius clenched his fist, angry and frustrated, more at himself than anyone else. He blamed himself for liking his best friend's girlfriend. He could not do anything either, one because it was James and two, because it was Lily. She was perfect. Beautiful, smart and willing to put up with the Mauraders. She had a muggle upbringing but he was not his family, and did not care. He bit his lip to stop himself from telling her anything foolish and instead devoted some of his time to the new girl. She was pretty and despite her initial snobbery, seemed okay.

'So, why did you move?' Sirius thought she looked slightly nervous as he asked her the question. She looked cute with a blush, though.

'Stuff,' she murmured vaguely, tucking a stray tendril of hair behind one ear. 'You know.' Well, he did not know but people kept things secret for a reason and he knew that best of all so he did not push it. Rachel moved the conversation quickly on to equally as awkward territory. 'So, what were you doing in the Room of Requirement?'

He did not want to tell her. He had not even told his two best friends, let alone some girl he'd just met. 'Stuff. You know.'

She looked at him, amused and annoyed at the same time and opened her mouth to say something when there was a loud explosion. She looked scared, until James stood up and cheered loudly.

'I won!'

Sirius groaned, James had an ego to match his and Remus wouldn't hear the end of this for a long while. Remus shrugged.

'Yeah, but tomorrow I'll win where as you'll always be ugly.' Sirius laughed loudly, and Rachel joined in. A flicker of hurt passed over James's face as Remus insulted him but was gone as quickly as it appeared as Lily lent over and give him a huge kiss on the lips and told him that she thought he was handsome. Sirius stopped laughing and got up and joined Remus, who was heading to bed. He couldn't bear it any longer.

'Night, guys.'


	4. i try to laugh but cry instead

Hermione had managed to escape back down to the Room of Requirement once everyone had gone to bed, as it was the only link she had to anything. Disappointed that she had not found another portkey to take her back, she was at a loss of what to do. She found a trunk, like the one she had when she had first joined Hogwarts, with clothes, books and a class timetable for one Rachel Hunter. She would love to know how the Room of Requirement worked, as there was nothing about it in any book and it was quite a paradoxical room with it coming into conflict with many of the laws she knew about magic, as it created things out of nothing. She wasn't complaining, though. She dragged the trunk out of the room and towards Gryffindor Tower. It was heavy and yet there was help to be found.

'Do you want me take that for you?' A figure emerged from the shadows of the corridor. Hermione stopped and dropped the trunk, a large bang echoed around as it hit the floor. 'Sorry,' the same voice said approaching her. She looked up. It was someone the same age as Sirius, yet with none of the arrogance. Instead, the voice was almost apologetic in its insecurity. He was tall, taller than 6ft with long black hair that covered his face and his bright blue eyes that shone with intelligence. He had a large nose, but it just accentuated the rest of his masculine features. He was not conventionally good looking, as Sirius was, but there was something about him. Plus, he hadn't annoyed her yet like Sirius had.

'Yes, please. Erm, I'm heading to the Gryffindor dorms.' Hermione felt the figure flinch.

'I can take it most of the way there,' he offered. 'But not all the way, I'm afraid I'm not welcome there.' He stepped into the light to reach the trunk, and Hermione almost laughed. It was Snape. Her hero in shining armour was Snape. She shuddered at the fact that she had found him good looking. She knew that he was not welcome there. James and Sirius both could not stand him. However, she was not going to refuse help and allowed him to lead the way.

'I'm Rachel, by the way. I'm new.'

'I wouldn't know even if you weren't. I don't socialize much,' Snape said offhand, but Hermione could feel the hurt behind the words.

'Well, you're doing pretty well at it now,' she said, trying to make him feel better. He shrugged, trying not to let any emotions show.

'Yeah, well, I'll leave you here.' He handed the trunk's handle over to her, and their hands brushed. Hermione felt as though an electric shock had gone through her. She felt the heat of Snape's body near her. The moment was spoilt, though, as another student walked past and laughed.

'Rachel, what are you doing with him? Snivelly, you know what happens if we find you here.' Sirius had been on a midnight wander, trying to rid of his mind of Lily and instead come up with rebellious things to do. He'd found one. He grabbed his wand out, ready to hex Snape and Snape did the same but Rachel got in between both of them. She faced Snape.

'Thank you for your help, I won't forget it,' she said, staring deep into his eyes, hoping that he'd appreciate what she was trying to do. He took the protection and scuttled off back to the dungeons of Slytherin. Hermione spun on her heel. 'And you, have you ever tried being nice?'

Sirius felt a sharp barb because of her comment. He had, it just always backfired on him. He had been nice to Lily, but she ran off to James. He had been nice to his brother, but he had just run off to bullies in Slytherin. He had given up being nice.

'Yeah, but it didn't suit me,' he grinned and lifted her trunk up as they passed through the portrait. Rachel seemed to ask all the right questions, or the wrong ones depending on how you looked at it. Sirius dumped her trunk outside the girls' dorm and starting walking in the opposite direction.

'Thanks,' she called after him and he turned to speak to her again but she had already gone to bed. He felt the ends of his lips curving up into a smile at the thought of her. This was very, very strange.


	5. patiently wait to hear those words

Sirius woke to the sound of voices arguing, getting louder and louder, from the direction of the common room. He recognized one as Remus. Remus's voice got deeper and deeper when he was angry. Sun filtered through the curtains of the boys' dorm onto his face. He felt himself groaning. Morning already. He rubbed his face, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes and just pulled on a pair of tracksuit bottoms, not worrying about a top. He knew what he was and what he wasn't. He was good looking, with a decent body. He wasn't many more things, he wasn't what his family wanted him to be but y'know, can't be perfect. He chuckled softly at that. He certainly wasn't perfect.

Sitting on one of the sofas in the common room was Rachel and Remus, coming to blows.

'That doesn't matter! They should still have rights. You, of all people, should know this.'

'Me, of all people? Why me, of all people?'

Hermione stopped and realized she had made a drastic mistake. She wasn't meant to know about the fact that the boy in front of her was a werewolf.

'Because, you know, well, ..' she stalled, trying to cover it up. 'You're intelligent! You're one of the most intelligent in the year. It's stupidity to think that house elves deserve what they have to do.' She breathed a short sigh of relief, hoping that he would accept what she had said and not take anything the wrong way.

'Morning, guys.' Sirius took the moment of silence to announce his arrival. He felt Rachel swivel around and stare at him, her eyes raking over his half naked body.

'Hey, Sirius,' Remus said. 'Rachel here thinks that House Elves deserve the same rights as wizards.'

Hermione was grateful for the interruption, and even more grateful that Sirius had decided to forego wearing a top.

"Yeah, well, I just don't think it's fair the way they're treated." Sirius snorted at her remarks.

"Fair? They like being treated like that. They choose to be," he said. Hermione 's eyes flashed in anger and Sirius did not manage to duck in time to avoid the cushion she had thrown at his head.

"That is exactly what I'm talking about, Remus. That kind of backwards thinking, assuming that wizards…" Hermione 's rant was stopped as Sirius had bent down to pick up the cushion and thrown it back. She spluttered, waving feathers off her face and scowled at the young topless man who was laughing. Remus looked disapproving but did not join in. He did not want to be a casualty of war.

'Are you always this annoying?!' Hermione said, got her wand out, without waiting for a reply, and muttered a few choice words whilst waving it at all the cushions on the chairs. They all rose into the air and towards Sirius. His laugh fell short as he realized what was happening, and tried to hide behind a chair. It was in vain, though, and the cushions managed to find him anyway. He was pelted before Hermione lowered her wand. She looked triumphant, stood in front a cowering Sirius, his arms wrapped around his head to protect himself.

'Not always,' he said, a little breathlessly and red faced after being attacked so mercifully. 'Sometimes, on Tuesdays in Winter, I am a little less annoying.'

Hermione, despite herself, giggled and Remus felt it was safe to join in. Sirius grinned, glad that he'd managed to make her laugh and calm her down too. He did not want to be beaten again, especially not by a girl.

'And this isn't over,' he said menacingly, stalking slowly towards her. Hermione's eyes widened, she looked terrified. She had no idea what Sirius was going to do. From Harry's stories, the Mauraders knew some pretty impressive hexes and whatnot. However, Sirius did not get his wand out. Instead, he picked her up and threw her back on to the sofa. He leaned over, and Hermione felt her heart quickening. All he did, however, was gently tickle her sides. She kicked her feet, wriggling and turning, trying to get out but his firm grip would not allow it. Instead, he tickled her until tears were streaming down her face from the laughter.

'Get off me!' she screamed, not being able to bear it anymore. Sirius stopped and looked down on her pathetic state.

'Truce?' Hermione opened her mouth to say no, but he had started to stroke just behind her knee where she was particularly ticklish so it took all her power to simply nod. He stopped again and allowed her to breathe.

'Truce.'


	6. you never said

Hermione felt herself inexplicably drawn to the Library. She was safe amongst all the books, the smell of leather and the feel of knowledge. Plus, lessons started tomorrow, it being a Sunday and she needed to catch up on work if she was going to be staying in the past. Scanning her timetable, she could see that she had double Potions, Charms and Herbology so she selected a few books based on their titles and sat down to read. Just like it was in the future, the library was practically empty with no more than one person sat at the long tables between the bookcases. She choose a quiet, well lit corner and curled her legs up to her body to read the first of her books, about properties of certain plants and their uses in potions. She was enthralled and did not notice a young gentleman make his way over to her until his shadow blocked her reading light. She shut the book and looked up to see Snape there.

'Hello, again. Sorry for interrupting your studies but I just came to thank you for the other night.' He offered her a warm smile that seemed to transform his whole face. She returned it, which made him blush slightly but his gaze did not falter from her face.

'That's okay,' Hermione replied. 'That was rude and obnoxious of Sirius but you know what he's like.' She gave a small, defeated shrug at the memory of him. Snape's eyes darkened angrily for a moment at the sound of Sirius's name but lightened up once he spoke.

'Yeah, I know what he's like.' He chose to sit down in one of the leather armchairs next to her, sinking gratefully into the warmth. 'You don't mind, do you?'

Hermione shook her head. She did quite enjoy Snape's company, and did not think about him as her potions teacher anymore. As a teenager, he was quite different. Nervous but kind. He noticed the book resting on her lap.

'Do you need any help at all? I'm quite good at potions.' Hermione had to prevent herself from giggling. Little did he know that he would go on to teach it.

'Yes, that would be great. I'm not sure what I'm meant to know. The syllabus is different at my old school.'

Snape nodded enthusiastically, and began to explain what they had been doing so far and what she needed to know. He kept it as simple as he could, and Hermione kept up. A few hours later, and she knew everything that she needed to know. They stood up to leave for lunch, and she hugged him gratefully. He flinched at the contact, slightly surprised that she was willing to touch him, but wrapped his arms around her waist anyway. Hermione was enjoying the close contact with him but was not expecting his next move. He brushed her hair out of the way of her face and lent in. His lips touched hers gently, and she put her arms round his neck, balancing on her toes so she could reach him better. Her tongue slipped between his teeth, and she felt his mouth widening to allow the kiss. Suddenly, they heard a screech.

'THE LIBRARY IS FOR READING, NOT KISSING!' the librarian screamed, a single middle aged woman with glasses that did not suit her and a tweed suit. 'GET OUT!'

Snape and Hermione broke their kiss off and had the good grace to look embarrassed. Hermione squeezed his hand and they both broke into a run, getting out as had been instructed. They stopped once they had reached a quiet corridor and Hermione lent in again. Snape moved his head out of the way and stopped her.

'Rachel, I'm not sure this is going to work,' he told her. 'I'm in Slytherin, you're in Gryffindor. You hang out with Sirius and that lot. Plus, you could do a lot better than me and….' He stopped and licked his lips nervously, not believing what he was about to tell her. 'I'm in love with someone else and it just wouldn't be fair on you.'

Hermione was going to be angry, before realizing just who she had kissed. It was Snape. Her teacher. A horrible man who was completely unfair to her and her friends. Yes, his black hair and blue eyes were gorgeous but it was her teacher. And he was giving her an escape, a get out clause. She exhaled and looked up at him.

'Yeah, you're right. We wouldn't have worked,' she said, giving a nonchalant shrug. 'Friends?'

'Friends.'


	7. fumbling through your dresser drawer

_Hey, hope you're all enjoying it so far. Reviews are appreciated but not needed, I guess. I'm writing this for fun. Sorry for all the rubbish bits! Yeah. Erm. More stuff will happen soon. Plus, Remus is gay. Who wouldn't love that? If anyone has any criticisms, corrections or praise, feel free to tell me. No doubt there are a few things that don't make sense._

Dinner in the Great Hall was a familiar sight to Hermione, even if the rest of the past wasn't. She took a seat on the Gryffindor table in between Remus and Sirius, feeling comfortable around all the babbling students. She glanced over at the Slytherin table, but could not see Snape at all. Then again, he said he did not socialize much. Her heart sank a little as she turned to the conversation that her adopted group of friends were having.

'..are an absolutely arsehole, Sirius Black,' James said affectionately. Lily smiled patiently and Remus was still laughing.

'It wasn't my fault. I blame the firewhiskey. And Remus. Yeah, mostly Remus. He's a bad influence.' Everyone looked incredulously at Sirius. Remus was no more a bad influence than Peeves was helpful.

'So, it's my fault that you drank too much and thought it was a good idea to dress the statue of Gregory the Smarmy in drag,' Remus rebutted. 'It's my fault that you used potatoes as breasts and trailed a feather boa around his neck and then told the teachers that you saw Peter doing it.'

Sirius shrugged.

'Yeah, well. Gregory did look attractive, though,' he said, making everyone around him burst into peals of laughter. Hermione felt the edge of her mouth tugging, and joined in. She felt comfortable with James, Lily, Remus and Sirius; just like she would with Ron and Harry. She had yet to see Peter, he seemed to be keeping out of the way. From what she could figure out, he had allowed Sirius and James to test a hex out on him which had ended up with him having no control of his lower body. He had been bed bound in the hospital ward. Hermione was glad of this, she was not sure she could trust her reaction when she saw him. He was the reason that Harry was an orphan and Sirius was put in prison.

Sirius nudged her and whispered into her ear.

'Rach, are you going to eat that?' He motioned at the meatballs on her plate. She pushed it towards him.

'Nope, help yourself,' she said.

As he shoveled them into his mouth, like only a boy could, he kept conversation flowing which was no mean feat.

'How are you finding Hogwarts? Gotten used to the layout yet?' he asked her.

'I love Hogwarts, I went to the library to study,' Hermione answered and Sirius snorted.

'Studying? What a complete waste of time. The library's rubbish, I'll have to give you a tour of the castle some time soon. I know all the best places.' Hermione smiled at his offer, and squeezed his hand thankfully under the table.

'Yeah, I'd like that.'

James and Lily were watching the two carefully, and smiled smugly at each other like couples do. They could see what was happening, even if Rachel and Sirius could not. After all, it had happened to them. Remus watched sadly. He was used to Sirius flirting with girls, he was almost renowned for it but it still hurt to watch.

After dessert had been cleared away, and Hermione had learnt more of the Mauraders' antics, people began to drift back to the common room. James and Lily, clutching each other like a drowning man would a lifejacket, headed back to James's room. The dorms tended to be empty at this time, with everyone still awake. Remus disappeared, muttering something about needing to find something. In the end, it was only her and Sirius left.

'That tour would sound good right about now,' Hermione said. 'Just in case we ever play a school game of hide and seek and I need somewhere good to hide.'

'Now that's the kind of thinking I like,' Sirius said, smiling wickedly. 'Okay, lets go.'

They left the Great Hall far behind, and instead wound their way around staircases and corridors, Sirius pointing out what he believed to be important landmarks at the lot. Suddenly, he grabbed her hand and pulled her along, as though he'd had a sudden flash of inspiration. Hermione's hair streamed behind her, and she tried to push it from going in her mouth. He turned round quickly to make sure that she was still with him.

'I've come up with the best hiding place ever! No one will ever find you here.' They were heading up to the Defence against the Dark Arts classrooms. Hermione felt confused. Sure, it was an alright hiding place but nothing special. But Sirius started slowing down on the staircase, showing clear signs of stopping. And here they were. Sirius opened his arms widely, pointing at a statue, clearly proud of himself.

'Sirius, erm…' Hermione trailed off, somewhat confused. 'I can't hide behind that.' There was not enough room between the statue and the wall for a first year, let alone her. Sirius merely laughed, and winked at her.

'Watch this.' He pulled at his wand, looked around cautiously and tapped gently on the statue. 'Dissendium.'

Hermione audiably gasped as the hump of the statue seemed to open up, and give way to a passage way. She glanced at Sirius for reassurance and he nodded at her confidently, so she took a small step into the passageway. She fumbled for her wand in the darkness, and produced it.

'Lumos!' she said a little louder than she meant to. The passageway wasn't too long, she could see the end of it. Sirius gave her a friendly shove so that she'd hurry up. She stumbled a bit, tripping over her own feet, so he offered her his hand.

'Need some help there?' he asked.

'No,' she said, rudely, sticking her chin out and ignoring him. They reached the end of the passageway and Sirius stuck out his hands so he could give her a foot up to the small wooden hatch. She pushed it open and shifted her weight through. Compared to the dim light of her wand, her eyes readjusted to the bright lights of the room she'd emerged into. She stood up, to get her bearings, but a strong arm kept her down. Sirius had wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her back down to the ground. He raised a single finger to his lips, and Hermione got the message. They crawled, hiding behind boxes. Hermione recognized the writing on the boxes, but did not have time to read them as Sirius dragged her quickly on. Eventually he stood up and helped her up too, grasping her arm and pulling her up. He opened the door in front of them, like the gentleman he was, and allowed her to go through first. Hermione almost fell over with shock. They were in Honeydukes! Sirius smiled at her surprise.

'Told you it was a good hiding place,' he said arrogantly.


	8. forgot what i was looking for

_Hey, thanks for the reviews everyone! I hope you're not getting bored. I may change perspective for a chapter; I'm getting a bit sick of Hermione's POV. Hope it won't confuse you or anything. Warning now, there's heavy petting in this chapter. Well, no, there's a passionate kiss. _

The two of them sat in The Three Broomsticks. Hermione was amazed at herself. She had never given in a piece of work late, let alone sneak out of the school. It had started snowing in Hogsmeade as her and Sirius had wandered down the High Street, so they had dived into the local pub for warmth and butterbeers. The sweet liquid trickled down her throat, and she could feel her whole body warming up. She curled her toes happily, and looked up at Sirius who was sitting opposite her, already finishing his drink and ordering another one.

Maybe it was the atmosphere, the butterbeer or simply the situation Hermione found herself in but she felt confident to ask Sirius again.

'Why were you upset? I know I didn't imagine those tears.'

'Look, Rach, I've only just met you,' Sirius ran a hand through his thick, messy hair unconsciously. There was something about this girl that made him nervous but in a good way, like the tingling sensation you get just before you practise a new spell or run down the corridors naked for the sake of a galleon. She searched his face with her eyes, not saying anything. He felt almost uncomfortable under her gaze and broke it off, glancing down at the floor. He took a deep breath and looked back up at her. 'It's my family, okay,' he said. 'You wouldn't understand.' She gave him a tentative smile.

'Try me,' she said quietly. He shook his head, and pursed his lips together to prevent anything else from escaping. Rachel reached under the table, and felt for his hand. She squeezed it gently. 'Trust me.'

Sirius felt himself relaxing, his shoulders lowering and his heart slowing down.

'Well, I don't fit in, that much is obvious. All my family were in Slytherin, I am the first member to go to Gryffindor. You'd think they'd be proud of me, for being different, but they resent me for it. I don't belong in the family because I don't belong in Slytherin, and vice versa. The house elf at home is given more love than me. My mother has not hugged me or said one kind word to me since I've been at Hogwarts. My father regards me as an outcast. They wouldn't care if I run away and don't think I haven't tried. But I always have to give up, I can't use magic outside school so I have no way of surviving. Hogwarts is the only place I feel at home, it's the only place there is any warmth and happiness in my life. James and Remus are the two best friends I could ever hope for, and yet I find myself getting angry at them because they don't realise how truly crap I have it. They expect me to have the same life as them, with parents who love them. And it's just not the case. What makes it worse is my brother. He's so bloody perfect and can do no wrong in their eyes. But I've had to defend him from bullies ever since first year, and not heard one word of thanks from it. Even at Hogwarts, sometimes, I feel like I don't fit in. Everyone has something, Remus has his brains, James has Lily. And what do I have? My need to show off, my arrogance, my daring, my sense of humour. I will have nothing to show for 7 years of education because I was too busy trying to make people look at me because no one will at home. Why...wh..' Sirius faltered, not wanting to go on. Rachel just waited for him to finish. 'Why can't someone love me?'

He had never told anyone what he had just told the beautiful stranger in front of him. The Room of Requirement provided him with a break, when his feelings got too much. The reason he laughed so much was so that he would not cry. It all got too much sometimes.

'Sirius, you silly thing!' Rachel said, admonishing him. 'Everyone loves you. Your parents are arseholes who are not worth one minute of your time.' He tried to laugh, Rachel swearing sounded as natural as the Headmaster singing one of the Howling Sister's greatest hits, wearing nothing but a teacosy, standing on one of the tables in the Great Hall. After his failed attempt to cheer up, Sirius laid his head on his arms and sank into the table. He was trying not to cry, but the butterbeers had got the better of him. He felt a pair of hands rest on his shoulders, and a hot breath against his neck. 'I love you, isn't that enough?' He sat up, astonished that she'd admitted such a thing. It was true, when he was around her, he did not think about Lily once. He was himself around her, and his need to impress her was not because he was desperate for attention, he just thought that she was extremely attractive and would enjoy the things that he was showing her. He pushed himself up, off the chair, turned around and faced her. She looked nervous but did not look as though she regretted her words one bit. He took a step towards her and reached his arms round her tiny waist. He pulled her firmly against him so her slender frame was pressed against his chest. He could feel her heart beating loudly as he bent down to kiss her. Their lips brushed, and Sirius drew her closer still to him, deepening the kiss so he could feel the full heat of her mouth. She broke it off gently, blushing furiously as she looked directly into his eyes, wanting a real answer. He laughed from the back of his throat.

'Yeah, that's enough,' Sirius said. He kissed her adoringly on the tip of her nose. 'I love you, too.'


	9. try to guide me in the right direction

_Hope you like reading it as much as I like writing it._

Hermione lay in bed, staring at the ceiling of the canopy. She had the covers drawn over her, warming up after the snowball fight her and Sirius had had after The Three Broomsticks. She laughed quietly at the memory, fondly remembering hexing a tree so it shook all the snow onto Sirius's head. He took the attack, goo d naturedly. He did most things with a smile; it was one of the things she loved about him.

And one of the things she'd miss about him, she thought sadly. One of the things that would be forever lost in twenty years, when Bellatrix cursed him to his death. She sighed, sadly. She was normally so smart about these sorts of things, she had liked Ron for a few years now and had never told him a thing. And he was not going to die! Or end up in Azkaban. Hermione knew better than to trifle with, for want a better word, fate. Events that had already been set in motion could not be stopped without dire consequences. It messed with the very fundamentals of the universe. She already knew how Sirius's life panned out, and could not help but turn over onto her side, clutching her pillow and sobbing. She knew it couldn't be, anyway. She had to go back to the future, to her own time. She wondered if people at Hogwarts had figured out what had happened, or perhaps they imagined that she had been kidnapped by Voldemort in some evil plot to get at Harry. She wondered if time had passed in the future. She wondered if Ron had missed her. She loved Sirius, she did, but she had to keep realistic. And reality for her was Ron. It was the tall, ginger boy who infuriated her but could make her laugh too. However, she did not want to give up Sirius just yet. She enjoyed his company, she enjoyed his kisses, she enjoyed his jokes. He was changing her for the better, he was making her loosen up and relax. She hoped she was helping him too. She figured that no one had ever asked him if anything was wrong, as they couldn't see past the smile he wore as a mask. Hermione Granger was the only one that knew the true Sirius Black who, just like anyone else, simply wanted to be loved.

She would stay one more week, she resolved. And then she'd find a way of getting back. Plus, she wanted to know if she could do well at school in the1970s. People always said that exams and Hogwarts was getting easier, because people were getting better results, and Hermione just wanted to know if this was true. She reached for her school bag, next to her bed, to check that she had everything. She ran her hands over all the text books and quills and scrolls. She was sure there was meant to be another book, though, so she headed into the Common Room; the only other place she could have left it. And there it was, on a table in the corner where she had been studying at some point. She walked over to pick it up, and realised she was not alone. There was a figure curled up on a sofa near the fire, crying softly. She did not know whether to go over or not, but maternal instincts got the better of her. She approached slowly, not wanting to startle whoever it was. The fire shone on a familiar face.

'Remus?' The figure jolted, and sat up immediately, wiping the tears quickly away. His voice was thick was pain when he next spoke.

'I couldn....couldn't sleep,' he said. Hermione figured there was something else wrong but didn't want to interrogate him. She sat next to him on the sofa.

'Yeah, me neither,' she said calmly, not making a big deal out of what had happened. 'I know we've only known each other a few days, but if you need to talk about anything, I am here. Girls tend to be better at this kind thing than guys.'

Remus bit his lip, debating whether or not to trust Rachel. He heard her and Sirius stumble in earlier, giggling to each other and sharing quick kisses, so if Sirius trusted her he was sure that he could. Before he could stop himself, it all came flooding out.

"I'm in love, but I don't think that James and Sirius would understand," Hermione nodded, slightly confused. Surely they'd understand best of all, due to the fact that they both had girlfriends and were in love too, but she let Remus continue on. "They think I spend a lot of time in the library on my own. The truth is that I spend a lot of time in empty classrooms with...' He did not know how much to give away. "With a guy. It's the only place we can be together."

Hermione's eyes widened in shock. Remus was gay? Thinking about it, it did make sense. He was always well dressed, even when he taught at Hogwarts and his clothes were shabby. They were still expensive, and clearly a product of good taste. And he had feminine qualities, like when he played nurses when Harry fainted due to the Dementors. Hermione realised that a reply was needed. She coughed and turned to him.

'I'm sure James and Sirius would understand. They're your best friends, they like you for you, not your sexuality," she said. "Well, unless your boyfriend is in Slytherin. They may be a little less understanding then."

Remus laughed, feeling happier than he had in a long time. Rachel had spent quite a lot of time around them, he was sure that she knew how they would react.

"No, he's in Ravenclaw, in the year below. His name is Dirk Cresswell. He can speak Goobledegook almost fluently," he said proudly. "He's just lovely. I..."

Hermione could tell by the look in his eye that Remus was in love. It was strange, though, she recognised the name Dirk Cresswell. When setting up S.P.E.W, she researched other people that worked with other species. He was head of the Goblin liason office, so he seemed an obvious choice. Like Remus, he grew up to have a wife. Strange how it all works out. Hermione suddenly grabbed Remus, yanking him into a hug and cheered excitedly.

"I want to meet this boyfriend of yours!" she told him. "I want to make sure he's good enough for you."

Remus smiled, looking more relieved than he had in ages. He was excited that he had someone to share his secret with, but was still wary of Sirius and James finding out. As though she could read his mind, Rachel spoke.

"I'm sure James and Sirius will be fine about it, but if you don't feel comfortable telling them, don't. Just remember, I'm here if you need support or don't want to tell them yourself."

Remus hugged her back and thanked her, before heading up to bed.

"I'll see you in the morning."


	10. making use of all this time

_Just want to say thank you very, very much for the reviews! I'll probably be updating quite a few chapters due to the fact I'm snowed in atm. It's pretty fun, though, so I might be making an igloo instead. Sorry for the short chapters, I'm getting used to this writing business a little more. I'd just like to say thank you to the person from Bahrain, reading this. I'd love to speak another language as well as you must be speaking English. I didn't even know that it was a country. You learn something new every day, right? _

Hermione came down to Sirius and James diving onto Remus and rubbing his hair. She wondered if they had taken Remus coming out the wrong way, but all three of them seemed to be laughing. She overheard snatches of the conversation, not wanting to interrupt the moment.

'were ... finally admit it!" she heard Sirius say. The tone of James's voice suggested he was in agreement.

"take ... long." Hermione guessed the missing words, and realised how well his two friends must know him. They already knew he was gay, they were just waiting for him to tell them himself. It was a good way to find out, too, it meant that he was comfortable enough with his sexuality to tell them. She knew that they would understand, as well, she had this tendency to almost always be right. The pile on broke up and James and Sirius allowed Remus to breathe once again. Sirius noticed Hermione watching out of the corner of her eye and sidled over to her, slipping an arm sneakily around her gorgeous waist and giving her a peck on the cheek.

'Morning, beautiful,' he greeted her, nudging his nose against hers. 'Ready for lessons?'

Hermione was glad that he did not think his friend's sexuality was gossip worthy, that it was not important to tell her. She knew that he trusted her, that much was obvious from yesterday, and he did not think Remus's news anything worth knowing. And Sirius was right, as she had reminded Remus yesterday, it did not change him as a person.

'Of course,' she said, smiling brightly. Potions, Charms and Herbology were all subjects she excelled in as they were just a matter of reading the text books correctly and practising. Defence against the Dark Arts she struggled with, because as Harry had pointed out to her before, you had to be good under pressure which she was not.

Sirius held her hand firmly whilst they walked to the Great Hall for breakfast. He wanted everyone to know about his new girlfriend. Hermione was proud to be in a relationship with him, too. Although neither of them had explicitly asked the other out, ever since the kiss and proclamations of love, it had been assumed. The five of them, Lily, James, Remus, Sirius and Hermione, chatted loudly amongst themselves as they made their way down from the Gryffindor dorms. Remus's sexuality has come up briefly, but none of them focused on it. It was just quietly accepted, and that was that. The other three seemed to accept Sirius and Hermione quickly too. Lily and James had smug smiles, as though they had always known it was going to happen and Remus had already found out the night before. They made a close group, insulting each other in an affectionate kind of way, with no great meaning to what they were saying. Harry had it just as lucky as his father at school, though. Bonds like the ones forged now would never be broken.

Walking through the corridors, joining the many throngs of students that were also heading for breakfast, Hermione felt special. The Mauraders were treated with respect, having a reputation for mischief that obviously preceded them. It did make James and Sirius slightly arrogant, and they walked with more of a strut when around other people, but Remus took it all in his stride. People seemed to be whispering about their latest exploit, like bewitching all the cleaning rags of the caretakers to spread rainbow patterns whenever they touched another surface or replacing all the Flitterblooms in the Greenhouse for Devil's Snare. Hermione was not as impressed as everyone else, though. She had grown up with George and Fred at Hogwarts, who were inspired by the behaviour of the Mauraders and even went one step further.

The conversation over breakfast turned to menial things. All the homework that James and Sirius had foregone, the fact Remus needed to send an owl home to ask his parents to send more quills as he could not afford anymore at the present moment and whether Lily should have her hair short or not.

"I think you look beautiful the way you are," James announced triumphantly after Lily held her hair up to see if she'd look better with a bob. When he lent in for a victorious kiss, knowing he said the right thing, Hermione turned to look at Sirius. Instead of wistfully staring at the happy couple, as she'd noticed him doing before whenever they kissed, he was looking straight at her instead. He leant over to whisper in her ear.

'I think you look beautiful the way you are, too.' Hermione could not help smiling widely at that. No one had ever called her beautiful before, apart from Viktor and he'd struggled to say it in English. Plus, he did not mean it like Sirius did. Sirius was allowing her to see past the joker demeanour he built around himself.

'You're not too bad, yourself,' she said, knowing that she could joke around with him. Breakfast finished shortly after, with all of them heading in different directions. When they all passed the Ravenclaw table to exit the Great Hall for lessons, Hermione noticed Remus bending over and talking to a tall, tanned, blonde guy with shocking blue eyes. Ah, so this was the mystery guy. Remus bounded happily back to the group to tell Hermione that he had invited Dirk up to the Gryffindor dorms the next weekend and he'd agreed before splitting off to go to Transfiguration.

Hermione was left with just Lily, they had Double Potions together. The boys had left them, shoving each other as they all went to Transfiguration.

'At least I'll know one person in my class,' Hermione said gratefully. Lily looked somewhat distracted, though, and took a while to answer.

'Yeah..yeah, well, I'm sure you'll make new friends too,' she said, if suddenly realising that a reply would be appropriate.

There was a large group outside the dungeons. Hermione could tell by the colour of the uniform ties that it was a mix of both Gryffindor and Slytherin. She saw another familiar face, that of Snape's. He glanced over at both her and Lily, and his eyes lit up. Another mystery solved, Hermione thought to herself, this is the person that he is in love with. Her heart went out to Snape, because she knew it would never happen. She knew that Lily ended up happily married to James, with a son to prove it. Retrospect was not always a wonderful thing. He shuffled over to the two of them and struck up conversation.

'So, think you're ready for potions?' he asked, facing Hermione but ever conscious of Lily.

'I am, thanks to you,' Hermione said. 'I'm not sure I would've coped otherwise.'

Lily looked at the two of them, slightly confused.

'Do you two already know each other?' she enquired, hurt that Snape had a female friend that wasn't her and didn't think to tell her about it. The two of them looked at each other, caught each other's eyes and blushed. It was Snape that was the first to answer.

'I guess you could say that.'

Hermione interjected with her own say that she was, oh, so good at doing.

'Yeah, Snape helped me carry my trunk when I first arrived and then helped me again when he bumped into me at the library studying. It's no big deal." Hermione could tell that Lily was upset, which was unusual, she always seemed happy. Snape seemed to pick up on it too, and they tried to mollify her with reassurances that it had happened very quickly and they weren't keeping anything from her before the lesson started. When the teacher ushered them all into the room, she seemed in good spirits and both Hermione and Snape felt successful.

The three of them all sat around the same table. Having been preoccupied with Sirius and everything else that had happened, Hermione had not had time to worry about how she was going to get away with sitting in a class just over 15 years before she was born. Sure, the Room of Requirement had provided her with a timetable but that was not to say it had managed to get her on all the registers. However, she need not have worried. It knew what it was doing.

'Rachel Hunter?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Lucy Jones?'

...The register continued on, Snape being the last person called. Once everyone had settled and Professor Alderton had explained the ingredients needed for Deflating Draught. Hermione remembered this from her second year, when Harry needed it as an antidote for the Swelling Solution. It was probably needed for all the accidents the younger years could have and getting a class of 6th years was a lazy way of producing it.

Alderton came over to their table, and addressed Hermione.

'I have no idea how they teach in France, but I am hoping you can keep up.' Hermione could do nothing but nod at the intimidating man in front of her, who seemed to have a lot of hair everywhere but the top of his head. 'I'm sure Snape will be on hand if you need any help. He is particularly gifted when it comes to potions.'

Hermione felt herself doing nothing but agree, the many sharp retorts she had when it came to teachers patronizing her being pushed to the back of her head. Alderton gave her a curt salute, and left their table to it, milling around to the other students to chastise if necessary and rarely offer praise.

'He's doing it again,' Lily said suddenly, after they put the chopped daisy roots into the bubbling cauldron. Snape seemed to know what she was talking about, but Hermione had no idea. 'He says he loves me, but then he flirts with every other girl around. He says he doesn't know he's doing it, but I'm sure he does."

Relationship problems, Hermione thought grimly. But they must sort themselves out, if the future is anything to go by.

"I mean, he checked you out the first time he saw you," Lily said accusingly, turning to Hermione as though it was her fault that James was a bit of a sleaze.

"It was probably an unconscious thing," Hermione said, trying to pacify Lily. Snape agreed, speaking next.

"Guys do that sort of thing without realising, Lils, it's just a natural reaction to someone of the different sex. Has he ever actually been seen with anyone else?"

Lily shook her head, calming down slightly. Hermione felt the sudden need to try and save this relationship, for the sake of Harry if nothing else.

"He can hardly tear his eyes off you whenever you're around. Do you really think he'd be stupid enough to cheat on you?"

"I guess not. Thanks, guys," Lily said. "It's just, sometimes..."

"Yeah, well, no one's perfect," Snape put in. Hermione was amazed. He must really care about her if he is willing to put her happiness over the chance of a relationship with her. He did not want to see her and James break up because he knew how much he meant to her and how much they belonged together. That was true love. Maybe she should leave Ron and Lavender to it, maybe they are James and Lily meant to be together, and she's the equivalent of Snape. Ron's happiness was surely more important than hers, if she loved him. Hermione shrugged, disrupting her train of thought to get back to the matter at hand. The conversation had moved on, though, and Lily no longer seemed angry or upset. Instead, she was happily crushing shrivelfigs to put in the now purple liquid.

The rest of the double lesson went without any other interruptions or mishaps, apart from when a cauldron in the corner exploded, leaving two boys covered in burning green liquid. They had definitely gone wrong somewhere.

The bell rang for lunch, and the three of them headed for food as long with everyone else. They chattered happily, Snape and Lily explaining how they knew each other from when they were children. The relationship they had, however, despite Snape's love, was just like hers and Harry's, Hermione thought. They were good friends, and there would never be anything more. Even though they could tell each other anything, there would never be anything more. Whereas her and Sirius, there was something more, just that instant click, that spark, that indefinable quality. Hermione could read as many books as possible on the subject of love, and still not find the right words to explain it.


	11. keeping everything inside

_Hey, hope you like/hate/don't care about the story. Feel free to let me know. Or just read it. Yeah, anyway. More lessons._

Lunch passed quickly, the hour seeming too brief as a break during lessons. Hermione barely had time to eat, slapping Sirius's hand whenever he tried to grab a chip, answer the few questions that Sirius had about both her lesson and whether she was enjoying it, and the Charms homework he was meant to do, and introduce herself to Dirk, who Remus seemed intent on her meeting. Before she knew it, it was 1 o'clock, and time to go to next lessons. This time, all five of them had Charms joint with Ravenclaw.

The second floor on which the Charms classrooms were found was proving difficult to get to as the stairs were acting particularly temperamental. Hermione could hear Sirius swearing angrily under his breath, but she enjoyed this part of Hogwarts. Even Dumbledore had admitted that he'd never know everything about Hogwarts, and she could understand why. Still, they all managed to get to the lesson time along with everyone else. The professor seemed shocked to see Sirius, James and Remus who normally strolled in ten, twenty minutes late with not a care in the world. However, he did not make any comments and instead privately wished it would stay this way. They were bright boys, if only they could see past school and into the future.

They sat around a table near the back, next to some quite obnoxious Ravenclaw boys who were making crude suggestions to Lily and Hermione, who were sensibly ignoring them and devoting their attention to the boys on their own table. Sirius and James did not see it the same way, though, and Hermione could feel Sirius swelling with anger next to her. James was turning red, something Harry did too whenever he was annoyed. Both she and Lily shook their head, not wanting their boyfriend to get into trouble.

'They're not worth it,' Hermione pointed out. 'Just don't do what they want.' Lily joined in the encouragement, not wanting James to get a detention because that meant time away with her.

'They don't have a chance with us, anyway. I'm pretty sure that the one on the left has goblin blood in him. Look at his nose.'

Lily's comments seem to calm Sirius and James, and the tension in the air dissipated . They all turned to face the teacher, to listen to their instructions for the lessons but Hermione leaned closer into Sirius.

'Thank you for sticking up for me, though,' she whispered. 'No one's ever done that before.' He smiled at her before paying attention to the board that had the incantation for the charm they were doing written up. Below Sirius's 'I'm a rebel and don't care' attitude, there was a boy who just wanted to make his parents and his friends proud. Even when he was making sarcastic comments or turning up late, he always made sure that he kept up with the work. He wanted to be an Auror and he knew they only took the very best, in terms of grades. He needed Os in all his subjects if he wanted to pursue that career.

The charm was a relatively simple one, designed to make things bigger. It was the Growth charm, one that Hermione and the others around the table seemed to be familiar with. It was also one that the boys next to them felt they could make hundreds of jokes about.

'I bet the new girl used that one on her tits,' one said, not trying to lower his voice at all. Sirius clenched his fist under the table, trying to keep calm. He had problems with his temper before and he did not want to embarrass Rachel with them.

'Nah, I bet Remus used it on Dirk. Or one specific part of Dirk,' another said, glancing over and smirking. They all burst into mocking laughter. That was it. Fury flowed through Sirius and the 'joke' seemed to have the same effect on James. They both stood up, wands extended, despite Hermione and Lily trying to pull them back down and Remus shaking his head through his enclosed hands. The teacher was preoccupied with another table who instead of making their frog bigger, had managed to make it explode everywhere. At the same time, both James and Sirius bellowed a single hex at the boy who dared insult Remus

'TUMEO LEVICULUS!'

The Ravenclaws stopped laughing as the young man's head started to swell up. The disturbance caught the teacher's attention and he too was shocked at what was happening. Seeing Sirius and James panting heavily, looking furious, he did not need to guess what had happened.

'Black, Potter! Here, now.'

A silence descended over the class as the two made their way over. As they did, the Professor issued another order.

'Can one of you take Aubrey up to the hospital wing? I'm sure he is in dire need of Madame's Pomfrey's attention.'

The other three that had been sitting at the unfortunate student's table decided to volunteer themselves, shuffling out embarrassed, trying not to draw attention to the fact that their friend's head resembled that of a balloon.

'WHAT IN MERLIN'S BEARD DID YOU THINK YOU WERE PLAYING AT?' the teacher screamed, globules of spit forming on his lips. The two Mauraders shrugged, knowing that their friend's secret was more important than an unblemished record for the week. Plus, it was surprising that they had got past lunch without conceding a single detention. 'Detentions for the rest of the week, I should think. An hour a night. I have cleaning and filing that needs to be done. Forty points from Gryffindor too'

Both boys groaned, knowing the four hours of punishment they had in front of them, and slunk back to their seats. Half the class also groaned, at the loss of points. No doubt that they would somehow earn them back, though. Remus's eyes were shining with joy, however, and that made it all worthwhile. He was the shyest out of the group, not ever wanting trouble. He was also the most sensible and James and Sirius felt themselves relying on him more than once.

'Cheers, guys. Sorry about, y'know, the detentions.'

'No worries,' James said. 'Nothing new.' Sirius agreed.

'Plus, we love detentions. I can't possibly think of anything funner than dusting all the classrooms on the second floor.' Remus, Lily and Hermione all laughed at the contempt at his voice. He sounded no fonder of cleaning than he was about his own family. Ten minutes later, and the event had been forgotten. The lesson continued, with frogs ribbiting loudly, but not doing much else. Hermione had managed to grow her frog to the size of a small dog with a small flick of the wand and the word 'Engorgio'. Lily was doing well too, but Sirius was having somewhat more trouble. His face was turning red with effort as his frog just sat on the table, looking at him with an air of scorn. Hermione could see his struggle so she placed her hand gently over his, and guided him as to the right movements for the charm.

Sirius felt his heart flutter at Rachel's touch. The sight of her tiny, feminine, gentle hands over his huge ones was enough to make anyone nervous. He just wanted to lean in and kiss her for what she was doing for him, but he felt that it would not go down well in a Charms lesson. Instead, he allowed her to move his hand so it made an elegant swirl before pointing his wand at the toad.

'Now you try,' she said. He repeated the movement, but made a deliberate mistake just so she'd touch him again. She led him through the movements again, and Sirius was glad that his lower body was hidden under the table otherwise the situation could become quite awkward.

By the end of the lesson, their whole table had managed to make the frogs grow although James had needed another frog when he had used a spell that had caused his frog to sing love ballads out of tune. Lily had not appreciated the effort.

Hermione was grateful that her last lesson, Herbology, had been cancelled, as someone had dropped a seed pod that exploded to give off noxious fumes which did not seem to be responding to any spell that was being used to get rid of it. The fumes were harmless enough; it was just that if you breathed them in, you'd fall unconscious for a few hours.

The Gryffindor common room had bodies strewn across it after dinner. Mondays were always horrible. Hermione was sat on Sirius's lap, on one of the beanbags in the room. James and Remus were playing a rematch of chess, and Hermione could see that in four moves Remus could win. However, she did not offer her help this time, knowing that it would not be well received. According to Sirius, they had played a chess game every day for the past two years keeping a tally of their wins and losses. They were on pretty much equal footing, judging by the notches they had made in the wall.

Sirius stroked the inside of her arm, knowing that she liked it. It was one of the few things that gave her pleasure, like full marks in a test or chocolate coated strawberries. She smiled, contented and lazy. Conversation flowed easily between the two of them, choosing safe topics whilst surrounded by other people. Hermione found out that he preferred showers to baths, always had raspberry jam on his toast with no butter and that his Shakespeare play was Hamlet. She was shocked that he had heard of Muggle literature, but he was surprisingly well read.

'It was a seemingly small act of rebellion against my parents,' he explained. 'They hate everything Muggle, so I strive to bring as much Muggle as I can into my life. It's probably the only reason I'm going out with you, because you're half. It's going to be great bringing you home for to meet the family.'

Hermione ignored the insult about their relationship and ruffled his hair affectionately. He considered her a serious girlfriend if he was thinking about taking her home. Realistically, she knew it could never happen. After Friday, she was going to spend the weekend finding a way to get home. As comfortable as she felt in the past, it was not where she belonged.

Her train of thought was interrupted by a sudden movement from Sirius. He shifted her out of his arms, and onto the bean bag next to him.

'James, we gotta go. Detention, remember?' James looked up from his game and rolled his eyes. As Sirius kissed Hermione quickly goodbye, Remus and James sorted out their chess game.

'I'm about to win, too,' he said. Remus snorted.

'Sure, you are. Whatever keeps you sane,' Remus said.

'Whatever,' James replied. 'Draw?'

'Yeah, draw. But only because you stood up for me, not because you're going to win. I don't want you getting in any more trouble because of me, so leave already,' he said.

Sirius and James left together, grumbling as they went. Hermione covered her mouth as she yawned loudly. Remus turned to her.

'I'll tell Sirius you said goodnight, you need your sleep.' She felt like she was being cared for by her dad. She could see why Sirius and James were willing to fight for Remus's behalf, he was as gentle and kind as anything.

'Cheers, Remus. Good night.'


	12. i'm lifting you up, i'm letting you down

_Lalala. This beats doing my English Coursework. There's quite an intimate moment and hints of sex. Kinda. I'm keeping it clean, though! Yeah, review it if you're enjoying it. Just a simple 'Yeah, I'm enjoying it' will do. Or review it even if you hate it. But still say 'Yeah, I'm enjoying it.' Don't feel you have to, though. Don't give into peer pressure!_

The rest of the week passed, and Hermione had managed to divide her time between lessons, Sirius and homework quite well. Whilst he was at his detentions, she could do all the essays that were due without him distracting her, which he was incredibly good at doing. Hermione fondly remembered Wednesday evening when he cast a spell that caused the falling petals of a bouquet of roses transform into miniature otters when she told him it was her favourite animal. She had given him things in return, too. Though she kept it a secret for fear of being laughed at, she was quite an adept artist and had drawn him a large sketch of a flaming Harley Davidson. She had never had a more enthusiastic kiss than when she handed over the sheet of paper. She had a feeling that it was one of the few presents he had ever received.

She was putting off the promise she had made to herself. As Friday had drawn closer, she had ignored the fact that she needed to find a way home. The only times she had ever been in the Library were when her and Lily had agreed to meet Snape to study and catch up. It was a comfortable threesome, with none of the camaraderie of the Gryffindor group but an amiable atmosphere all the same. They all flirted gently with one another, but never allowed it to go further than that. Snape always managed to find the right words to say whenever they were upset, feeling ugly or had been irritated by their boyfriends. He was a good friend. The Library was one of the few safe places that they could meet him. His Slytherin friends were no fonder of them than Sirius and James were of him.

A loud whistle distracted Hermione from the book she was pouring over, and she saw Sirius grinning, idly leaning against the door frame of the common room.

'Give us a hand, would you?' She shut the book, hoping that she was not going to be involved in anything illegal or dangerous. Stupid hope, those two words were Sirius's favourite kind of activities. She couldn't resist his infectious smile and cute dimples though, and went over. He pushed the door back, so she could see James and Remus standing there too looking as idiotically happy as Sirius did. They had piled boxes and boxes on top of each other to form a tower. Hermione tilted her head confused at the sight, her lips pressed together about to form a question. Sirius ignored it and turned his back on her, bending down to pick up a box. Straining, he handed it over to her outstretched arms.

'I'll explain in a minute. Just take them inside.' Hermione's curiosity overruled her common sense, and she did as instructed. Dumping them in a dark corner of the common room, she could hear clinking but did not want to guess what mischief they were up to. Lily came over too and helped with a couple of boxes. Several Gryffindors who were milling around the common room joined in, knowing the Marauders' fondness for a good time. Whatever was happening was bound to be exciting and they wanted to be involved. Five minutes after Sirius's plea and all 20 boxes were in a neat pile within the room. Sirius stood on a chair, like an actor on a stage, and addressed the whole common room not just Hermione.

'We're having a party, tonight!' he said excitedly. Muttering started in the small friendship groups. The parties that James, Sirius and Remus had were legendary. Few remembered them, but that was a good sign. No one ever questioned how they got all the butterbeer and firewhiskey into the castle, but no one wanted an answer. They were just grateful for it and drank it down. 'It's going to be tonight. We have enough alcohol to go around so feel free to bring friends. I guess, we all have something to celebrate.'

He stepped down off the chair, caught Rachel's eye, and winked. She blushed unknowingly and blew him a kiss. He was celebrating her, beautiful, wonderful, intelligent her. He had known her less than a week but knew her better than he knew most people. He had told her things that he had never even admitted to himself. She was not Lily, but he was glad of that. She was something entirely different. Thinking about it, she was better than Lily. He had never heard her whine, she never demanded his attention all the time yet knew when he wanted hers and her kisses! She knew just where to touch him. There was a spot just behind his ear where she rubbed whenever she wanted him to relax. It did not help him relax, though, it just turned him on. The soft touch of her fingers against the coarseness of his hair was sometimes more than he could bear. Caught up in his own thoughts, he did not notice her come up behind him and wrap her arms around his waist. He looked down to see her tiny hands flat against his stomach. He clenched, a warm feeling through his whole body. He turned to face her and saw her beaming at him. He grabbed one of her hands, and put the other one on his shoulder. He then slid his hand onto her hip, and danced a tango with her. He lost himself in her laughter, and erupted to. He picked her up and span her around, letting her long brown curls chase behind her. Setting her down, he lent her back, hooking his arm beneath her knee and pulling her leg against his body. The feel of her thigh against his seared through him, and he could not help himself. He dipped his head down to her lips, and she nibbled on his bottom one gently. Her teeth scraping against his lips were pain and pleasure at the same time. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth. He was pretty sure he heard her moan quietly. What was it about this girl that sent him crazy? Their tongues danced with each other, massaging gently.

'Guys! Get a room!' Remus called at them. Sirius felt Rachel break off the kiss, but he kept a firm grip on her waist. She laughed, and he could feel every vibration through his hand that was resting on her body.

'You're just jealous,' she retorted. She turned back to Sirius, heat that reflected his own in her eyes as she looked at his face. 'But he has a point. Plus, I've got to go. I have a full day today, five whole lessons. It's not the weekend yet, it's still only Friday morning.'

Sirius knew better than to keep her from work, she took school a lot more seriously than him but it was rubbing off on him. She was a good influence. He was having an effect on her too. She had relaxed a lot more since they had been going out, she was not as uptight. He patted her arse.

'Yeah, you go do well. I plan to sponge off you for the next ten years,' he said. She laughed and grabbed her stuff and left. Most people had the same idea, and followed her out. Sirius yawned. He, James and Remus had spent the whole night collecting supplies for the party that night. Plus, he had Potions first, that wasn't an important subject, he could catch up. He needed to sleep. He headed to the dorms, and flung his body onto his bed. He collapsed there, asleep before his head hit the pillow.


	13. i'm fooling around

_I'd like to say a massive thank you to __Harrypotterlover56 and Kamai6 for all their super sexy reviews!! I'm glad you guys like the story. Also, I have just joined about 20 of the best groups on facebook, like 'I'd be sleazy for Ron Weasley, I hate it when Voldemort steals my shower gel and Ron Weasley: Bringin' sexy back'. Anything to avoid revising but I recommend you join them too, they're funny. (: Sorry, this bit is just about Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. I love their relationship in the books, I don't think I've got it quite right but I tried._

Sirius was shaken awake.

'Warrr...' he groaned, his brain not functioning properly enough to form real words. He lifted a hand up to his face and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

'Sirius, it's almost lunch. You've missed your three first lessons. Professor Smith is going mental. I saw a rabid dog once, this is pretty similar. She's coming up now,' Remus said anxiously, passing Sirius a cup of tea to wake him up.

'Sirius, mate, we have all the alcohol in the common room where Smith is headed up to right now,' James put it in terms that he understood.

'Shi...!' he bolted up. 'Yeah, I'm up, I'm up.' He dusted down his clothes and gave his hair a quick shake so it wouldn't look like he had just woken up. His two friends were stood around his bed, peering nervously down at him. He got out, and gave them both an encouraging push.

'Come on, then,' he said, as though it was his idea all along and that he had not been asleep for the past three hours. They legged it down to the Great Hall for what would be Sirius's first meal of the day, passing Professor Smith, head of Gryffindor on the way.

'Boys, you stop right there!' The three of them skidded to a halt. 'You know the rule about running in the corridors.'

'Sorry, miss,' they mumbled awkwardly, not looking her in the face.

'Sirius, a word,' she said curtly, recognising the mess of black hair. James and Remus backed away slowly, not wanting to draw further attention to themselves. Sirius stood there, scuffing the edge of his shoe with the other. 'I have had three teachers come up to me to complain up your absence. What do you have to say for yourself?'

'Sorry, Professor. I .. erm,' Sirius paused, stuttering for an excuse. Well, the truth never hurt anyone. 'I overslept.'

'That is not good enough,' the Professor tried her very best to be strict but she was fond of Sirius. She knew that he had come from a tough upbringing, his father an alcoholic and his mother a loon. He was a decent, smart lad. Plus, he was one of the best chasers she had ever seen. 'You don't want any more detentions now, do you?'

He shook his head.

'Well, hurry up and get some lunch before afternoon lessons. I don't want you being late for them.'

'Thanks, miss. I mean, Professor. Bye.'

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at his head of house before walking quickly, not running, to join his two friends. He smiled, victoriously.

'I reckon she must fancy me or something. She never can tell me off.' His two friends laughed.

'Sirius, the day she fancies you will be the day that me and Remus get married,' James said.

'And that's never gonna happen,' Remus said. 'I have standards.' Sirius laughed now as James punched Remus on the arm.

'Well, other than that,' James said, dejected that his friend was gay but not for him. 'There's another problem. Would it count as bestiality?' They paused, all pondering this.

'Nah,' Sirius said. 'Or if you were both in animal form, it would be normal.'

'Normal?!' Remus laughed. 'Yeah, completely normal for two teenage boys to turn into animals that have sex with each other. Plus, I'd eat James whilst he was in deer form and I was in wolf form, not have sex with him.'

'Maybe you're better off with me,' Sirius said, nudging Remus in the ribs. 'Wolf and dog, we'd have some fierce sex.' Remus grimaced.

'I don't even want to think about it. You naked? Eurgh.' He visibly shuddered.

'Awww, Moony,' James said. 'I bet Sirius would be good in bed. He's gotta have something going for him, right?'

James's comment turned into a harmless tussle between him and Sirius, the sort teenage boys had when they were bored or sexually frustrated. Sirius was just about to tackle James to the ground when they noticed that they had reached the hall. Remus checked his watch.

'Ten to one, guys. Enough time to grab something to eat?'

James and Sirius gave each other a quick look.

'RACE!'

In the end, Remus won, sitting calmly at the emptying table as it was the end of lunch, eating a jacket potato. Sirius had tripped James over as they ran into the hall, causing him to sprawl on the floor next to the Hufflepuff table who had all turned and laughed at him. As revenge, James had used a ball he had found in the bottom of his pocket to throw at Sirius, knocking the plate he was holding out of his hand which smashed into tiny pieces on the floor along with a portion of fish pie. Remus had ignored both of their antics, being the responsible one of the group and had walked a different way to the Gryffindor table so he would not get caught up in their antics. Whilst the two of them battled, he helped himself to the food that always magically appeared upon the tables. As they both sank into their seats, opposite Remus, panting heavily with plates of food, he smiled smugly at them setting down his knife and fork to denote that he had finished.

'I win,' Remus said.

'But no and... '

'You don't count...'

'and anyway, it was .... '

'and I would have won but ...'

The two of them babbled over one another, each convinced of their own victory. Remus waited till they had both finished to speak.

'We have to go now, anyway. It's almost 1, you can't be late for next lesson.' James and Sirius glared at him furiously, but knew that he was right. They both grabbed a few sandwiches and shoved them in their pockets, to eat as they walked down to History. Out of breath, they managed to make it on time to class. Again, it was another one without Rachel and Lily but the three of them were sometimes glad to be alone together. Girls could complicate things, plus they spent enough time with them to want a few hours just as boys. They sat, in the favourite spot, on a table close enough to the teacher not to arouse suspicion but far away enough not to draw attention to themselves.

Quills and scrolls were dumped unceremoniously onto the table, upon which Remus, James and Sirius had made a lasting mark. Using their wands so the writing was irremovable, they had burnt 'Prongs, Moony and Padfoot' into the left hand corner, three nicknames that no one would be able to recognise. Remus flicked to the right page in the textbook but that was it in terms of work for the lesson. Sirius looked around, and could see that some students had fallen asleep, resting their heads on their arms bored beyond belief. History of Magic had this effect on everyone; whether it was the teacher, warm, dusty classroom or the fact it was a completely bollocks subject – it sent everyone to sleep. Sirius took the opportunity, as the teacher droned on about the Goblin Wars of years ago, to pull out a scroll and scrawl a few words onto it.

'Hey, I swear suicide would be funner than this.'

'_Don't say that__!_' Sirius recognised Remus's tidy penmanship. _'__But you're not wrong__.__'_

'**I feel like chewing off my own arm**.' That was James, bold and large – a lot like his personality.

'Could you do that?'

'_Bite your own arm off? You can't lick your own elbow, I know that much__.'_

'**Bet I could.'**

'Bet you couldn't.'

'**Bet I could.'**

'Go on then, I'll put a couple of sickles on it.'

'_Hell, I'll join in this stupid competition. I bet James can lick his elbow but Sirius will refuse to pay up.__'_

'Deal.'

' **Deal.'**

They all dropped their quills to watch James raise his arm to his mouth and poke his tongue out. It took a few minutes of struggling and bending his arm into unnatural positions, but James managed it.

'**Told you! Pay up, Black.'**

'No, that didn't count.'

'_Pretty sure it did, Padfoot__.'_

'Sod off, Remus, you're not helping.'

'**Hahahahaha, you have to pay up.'**

'Wait! I've got it. I'll pay up if Remus does too. James can lick his own elbow, but I will pay up.'

The three of them bent down to their bags to get out a few coins and stopped.

'_Quits_?'

'**Quits.'**

'Quits.'

Remus smiled secretly to himself. All their bets ended up like this. James and Sirius both had a stubborn, competitive edge that was never serious. He always joined in to play peacemaker. Sirius grabbed the scroll and wrote furiously for a minute, crossing things out and biting his lip as he concentrated on what he was writing. The boys leant over to read what had taken him so long. It was a naked mermaid riding a dragon in quite vivid detail. Remus picked up his quill to write 'Ew, why couldn't it have been a naked merman?' but noticed that she had a speech bubble, enclosing a question, coming out her mouth.

'What do you guys think of Rachel?' Sirius was desperate to know what his friends thought of his girlfriend. She seemed to fit into their group pretty well but you never knew. She may show a psychopathic bunny boiler side when she's around his friends.

'**She's a laugh**,' James wrote. **'Me and Lily really get on with her. Lily's just glad she now has a female friend who doesn't judge her for having more guy mates than girl. Plus, I get the feeling she's helped Lily out a lot. I just like the fact she can take a joke and not get offended.'**

Remus's answer was a little more heartfelt. '_She really helped me with the whole gay thing. She was the first person I ever came out to. I'm sorry, guys! It's just, I didn't know you'd take it__.'_

'What, take you being a arse bandit? I think we've taken it pretty well.'

'**Yeah, I mean, normally I hate fags but you're alright.'**

Remus's face looked stricken at his friends' remarks but he only needed to look at the teasing twinkle in their eyes to know they didn't mean it. Sirius sat back, relaxed his friends approved of Rachel. He would still love her, but knowing what they thought was important too. He wasn't sat back for long, as the bell soon rang signalling the end of another school day. People filed out of the classroom, excited to leave and start the weekend. Sirius swung his bag over his shoulder, eager to get out as much as everyone else. James and Remus felt much the same, and jostled to the front of the queue to leave.

They raced up to the Common Room. The girls had yet to return from their lessons, but a quick glance over at the corner reassured Sirius that the boxes were still safely there for tonight. The Common Room was untidy, and not fit for a party. There was empty sweet wrappers from Honeydukes littered everywhere. Though it was not in Sirius's nature to be tidy, he wanted everything to be perfect for Rachel. He picked up a few and dumped them in the bin.

'Guys, we better hurry up. It's only 3 hours to the party and we have to get this place looking amazing.'


	14. i'm making your love

_I am gonna finish this soon, I know exactly how it's gonna end and stuff! Unless people have suggestions/ideas as to what could happen that will probably be a billion times better than mine and would like to tell me. But there's gonna be a sequel, plus I may start a few more stories. I dunno, I'm not that great a writer though. I may just leave it to those who actually know what they're doing. Enjoy this one. (: WARNING: Semi nakedness and suggestions of an erection. /: That sentence was more explicit that the chapter. Awesome._

Hermione stepped into the Common Room with Lily. It looked transformed. There was a large rotating disco ball in the centre, but other parts of the room were roped off with bean bags and duvets that had been dragged down from the dorms placed to create comfortable seating. A large table had appeared that took up one whole wall, and was covered in Butterbeer, Firewhiskey and even Muggle alcoholic drinks like vodka and wine. Mounds of paper cups took up one side, and there were large bins underneath the table for empty bottles. There was food too; massive bowls of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans and Cauldron Cakes. She was no idea how Sirius, James and Remus had managed it. Lily poked her and motioned for her to look up. The ceiling had been bewitched to look like the night sky, it was beautiful. She could point out the Plough and Orion. Glitter and fairy lights seemed to adorn every surface. Hermione's attention was pulled away when she heard a loud groan.

'I wanted to show you all this,' Sirius said, coming up and hugging her from behind. 'Did you see all the drink? The disco ball? Th...' Hermione giggled, he sounded like a little boy at Christmas.

'Yeah, I've seen it all. Might I say I am very impressed?' James and Remus trailed over to her, Lily and Sirius too, looking exhausted.

'Remus managed to find a spell that means sounds are blocked out. We put it around the seating areas so that you can have conversations and don't have to listen to music if you don't want to,' James told them, proud of his friend. They all gave Remus a congratulatory pat on the back.

'Well done!' Lily squealed at him, before diving into James's arms. She had not seen him since break, which had been over five hours ago, and she had missed him dreadfully. They headed off to James's bed, to, ahem, talk. Remus left too, explaining that he was meeting up with Dirk before he brought him back here. Sometimes, the parties could be a bit intimidating and he did not want to scare his boyfriend off before they had even started. Only Sirius and Hermione were left, and as she looked at him, she was remembering their kiss from this morning and sure he was too. Breaking off the gaze, she pulled at her uniform, looking embarrassed.

'I can't wear this, I have to go get changed,' she said, heading off to find some more appropriate clothes. Sirius followed her, tagging along by holding onto her hand.

'I'll watch,' he said, hoping that a cheeky wink would help him get away with it. It did. Hermione pulled him after her, hoping that the trunk that she found in the Room of Requirement would provide her something pretty to wear. As Sirius sat on her bed, chatting about his day, she rummaged through it, pulling out pairs of jeans and t-shirts. She wrinkled her nose at them, wanting something a bit more.... sexy, she thought. At the bottom of the trunk, she found a black dress. She shifted her cloak off her shoulders onto the ground, and pulled her black v-neck jumper over her head. She started unbuttoning her white shirt that was obligatory school uniform and suddenly felt someone else's hands on hers.

'Let me help you with that,' Sirius said, throatily. He gently removed the buttons from their holes until he reached the last one. He stood behind her and helped her out of it, one arm at a time. Hermione knew that she should feel embarrassed, she was such a prude that she was not comfortable with seeing herself naked but she felt natural undressing in front of Sirius. She felt his warm hands against her skin as he unzipped her skirt. It fell to the ground, so she was wearing nothing but a lacy black bra and black pants. She was thankful that she remembered to wear matching underwear.

Sirius drew a sharp breath it. He had never seen anything more beautiful than Rachel standing there, almost naked and unabashed. She looked at him with a smile playing upon lips that he knew well.

'Could you pass me my dress,' she asked sweetly. 'The black one, on the ground.' He bent down to pick it up, thinking about other things that his hands could be put used to. He banished such thoughts from his mind as he passed it to her. She stepped into it, shimmying her entire body until she could hook the sleeves over her arms. It was a simple, tight, black dress, but fitted in all the right places. It accentuated her gorgeous figure. It stopped way before her knees. Sirius thought he was close to weeping. He was so lucky to have her. Rachel turned around and lifted up her hair.

'Could you do the zip up, please?' This was torture for him. He could see her bare back. The zip extended all the way to the tip of her black pants. He took a deep breath, and tried not to look too carefully as he pulled the zip all the way up to her shoulders. He kissed her shoulder blade gently as he finished the task, and felt her shiver. 'Thank you, Sirius.'

'S'k.' He didn't trust himself to say anything else.

'I think you need to go get ready, too. You can't wear school uniform to your own party,' she said. Sirius groaned and lay back on her bed.

'Give me a few minutes, Rachel, and I'll leave.' He could not stand up yet, because of one pretty big problem, though he wasn't one to boast. Standing up would make it obvious. She got the hint and did not want to embarrass him. She rooted around for a pair of shoes to wear, waiting for him to cool off. Triumphant in her search, she slipped into a pair of black peep toes that fitted her perfectly. She stood up, and Sirius couldn't stop staring. Rachel's legs seemed to go on forever. She bit her lip and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, like she always did when she was nervous.

'Do I look okay?' she asked him. He scoffed.

'Okay doesn't even begin to cover how beautiful you look, Rachel,' he said. 'I better go find something to match you but I'm not sure the half an hour we have before the party starts will be enough time. I take hours to get ready, darrrling.'

She laughed at his pathetic, camp accent and shoved him out of the girls' dorms.

'I suppose you better hurry up, then.'


	15. i'm dancing till dawn

Eyes followed Hermione as she entered the room. She felt self conscious with her hair straight, like she wasn't quite herself, and she patted at it warily, hoping Sirius would like it. It was seven, and as the girlfriend of one of the hosts of the party, she had felt obliged to be on time. Sirius and James were already lounging around, each one of them clutching a bottle of Butterbeer, and taking eager sips. Lily followed Hermione over to them. She had done Hermione's make up and hair for her, knowing far more than Hermione did. She felt embarrassingly naive with her lack of knowledge on how to be a girl and guessed it was because she hung around with Ron and Harry and her only girl mate was Ginny, who she rarely saw due to the fact that Ginny was younger. Her make-up was simple, grey smoky eyes to match her dress and a light pink lipstick. She had basic foundation, blusher, powder, mascara and eyeliner on too but Lily had explained that most girls wore this every day.

Sirius's eyes widened in shock at the sight of Rachel. She looked completely different, even to how he had last left her in the tight black dress that left little to the imagination. The make up made her look older, but in a good way. In a knowledgeable, mature way that she was on the inside. He put a possessive arm around her waist as she came to sit next to him, demurely he assumed, she wouldn't flash anyone. The dress was quite short. He almost growled when she brushed up against him.

'You look good enough to eat,' he whispered aggressively into her ear. She laughed nervously and snuggled closer to him.

'Are you sure? I wasn't sure about the dress,' she said, anxious about her appearance. James managed to unglue himself from Lily to ogle and compliment her.

'If I wasn't going out with Lily, and best friends with Sirius, I would be making a move on you,' he said. 'Actually, correction. I don't care about Sirius.' Sirius felt almost angry but couldn't with the most gorgeous girl sitting on his lap. Instead of insulting or threatening James, he placed a kiss at the base of Rachel's perfect neck.

'It would be a very unsuccessful move,' Rachel replied, taking the words right out of Sirius's mouth. He squeezed her tighter to him, not wanting to ever let her go. However, the embrace was disturbed by an arrival. Remus was standing at the doorway, unsure of whether to come in or not. Sirius and James both called him over, budging over to make enough room for him and his guest. He walked into the room, hand in hand with a tall, blonde guy they recognise as a keeper from the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, who nodded at them, cautious of their reaction.

'Guys, this is Dirk. Dirk, meet James, Lily, Rachel and Sirius,' Remus said, introducing his new boyfriend to the group. The couples managed to untangle from each other to offer a hug to the new member. He stopped looking quite as terrified of them, and managed a brief smile in each of their directions. Sirius knew, from experience, that a good cure for social awkwardness was alcohol so he headed over to the table to grab a few beers for the lads and a bottle of wine and some cups for Lily and Rachel. He could imagine that Rachel enjoyed wine, she looked classy and unsnobby enough to enjoy a Muggle drink. Opening the beer bottles with his teeth, he passed the bottles around the circle making sure that Dirk got one too and felt involved. He noticed than he and Remus were sneakily holding hands as they sat next to each other, and almost made a joke but felt it would not be appreciated and refrained. Instead, he poured both Lily and Hermione a cup each of what he thought was Chardonnay but really he did not have a clue.

'Thanks, Sirius,' everyone said in chorus, turning back to the individual conversations they had been having before he had interrupted them with his kind offers of drinks. Dirk, James and Rachel seemed to be having an in-depth discussion on their favourite dragon and Remus and Lily were talking about their favourite drink and why. Conversation hopped from one topic to the next, with the six of them talking as friends not as three couples. By quarter to 8, the common room was full of noise and people marvelling at the decorations. Sirius felt proud of his efforts.

'Right guys, a game of I've never, everyone join in!' James yelled, as he brought a box of Butterbeer and bottles of spirits over to the large circle that was forming in the middle of the room beneath the disco ball. People eagerly sat down, knowing that this was just part of the evening, like awkwardness at the start, dancing in the middle, or heart to hearts that no one would ever remember in the morning at the end. Sirius started grandly, coughing his throat for far longer than was necessary causing laughter.

'I've never played in snow,' he said.

'That's crap,' someone said, which got votes of agreements.

'It's a start, and you all get to drink so shut up and drink,' he replied, to which no one argued with and instead took a sip of whatever they had in their cup.

'I've never ...' James paused, trying to think of one that everyone had done. 'Been bitten be an owl?'

The game continued in this way, but as more and more was drunk, and they had got round the circle again, Sirius thought it was appropriate to take it to the next level.

'I've never ...ooo... kissed someone I don't know the first name of.' He got a few shocked looks, but most people took surreptitious sips.

'I've never seen someone else naked,' was a popular one. As was 'I've never had a wet dream over a teacher' and 'I've never fancied a friend's brother.'

'Who?' Rachel whispered, amused at Sirius's confession as he drank to that one.

'McGonagall. She's hot, what can I say?' Sirius ignored Rachel's peels of laughter as I've nevers were just shouted out. He noticed that when she drank, which was very rarely, she did it so no one else would pick up on it, when they were distracted by someone else drinking and felt the need to know the truth behind the 'I've never'. She was nothing like him, a show off. It was strange how opposites did end up attracting.

Hermione felt Sirius glancing at her when she drank to 'I've never been in love.' She was not sure whether she was glad of this or not. Stupid wine, making her truthful. And brave, too. She stood up, swaying slightly but still sober enough to know what she was doing, and pulled Sirius up too. Other people, bored of I've never or simply wanting to dance now they had all drunk enough for social norms to be ignored did the same. People still playing, the hardcore drinkers of the lot, took the game over to the seating area where the music could not be heard. Someone had chosen songs to listen to, though Hermione was not sure where they were coming from. Must be magic. She giggled at her own joke and Sirius looked at her quizzically. She batted her hand at him and told him not to worry. He promised he wouldn't. She took a step closer to him, hips moving from side to side as she walked.

Sirius could not stand her teasing anymore and grabbed her close to him. He could feel her heartbeat through his ribs. It got faster as he stroked her cheek softly and kissed her on the lips. He drew back and offered her his hand. She took it, smiling amusedly, and they started to dance. There were groups on the dance floor and couples too but Sirius and Hermione took no notice. They seemed lost in their own little world, in each other's eyes. The song finished, and as it changed to the next, people started chatting again but Sirius and Hermione continued dancing. He span her around under his arm, so she turned and turned and turned. As he brought her back to his body, she placed her hand against his chest causing him to stop.

'Let's get out of here,' she murmured. 'I'm sure they won't miss us too much.'

_Ooo. Yeah, sorry, I'm focusing on Sirius and Hermione and none of the other characters, who are equally as good. The party will continue over a few chapters, hope you don't mind! Again, another thank you to Kamai6 who's supported the story from the start and yeah, it's just nice to know that someone's reading it. Also to Jade, here's your update! There will be another one soon because I know exactly where they're going and stuff. Any mistakes, feel free to point them out. I'm sure there's a bunch of typos._


	16. she does not walk, she runs instead

_There's some more I've Nevers for Kamai6 because you said you liked them. This is a pretty long chapter and people drink, and smoke and stuff so if you don't like that kind of thing, don't read it. Or do read it, and review saying how much you love it. This is all Sirius and Hermione. I think I got a bit carried away, this is a long chapter. Sorry! And I think secretly at heart Hermione is a bit of a rebel but if you don't agree with that you may not like this chapter._

Sirius glanced back the party. People seemed to be having fun, he was sure that he could leave without too much notice.

'Sure,' he said into Rachel's ear, trying to be heard over the next song. 'Just give me one sec.' He walked over to James and Lily, who were also dancing. Though they were fully clothed, it felt very intimate and Sirius almost did not want to interrupt. However, he clasped James's arm and dragged him away.

'Mate, I need a favour. Can I borrow your cloak?' Sirius asked him, pleading. James wanted to get back to Lily as soon as he possibly could.

'Sure, whatever, you know where it is,' he said. Sirius made a note to ask James for things when he wanted to get back to Lily, he seemed much more likely to say yes. He ran up to the dormitories that all the boys shared, and grabbed the cloak that James had inherited from his dad. It was better than any invisibility cloak he'd ever seen before, it had not faded with time at all. Considering how much they used it, too. It was a key part of their pranks and would not have been able to do any of them without its help. He shoved it under his jumper, not wanting to draw attention to it and rushed back to Rachel, who was standing at the door with a worried expression on her face.

'Hey, sorry about that. Just had to get something,' Sirius explained, and the frown on her forehead disappeared. 'Let's go.' He opened the door, allowing her to go through first. Everyone was far too drunk to notice their disappearance. He held her tightly to him as they stepped out into the corridor and threw the cloak over the two of them. Rachel did not seem shocked at the cloak, it was as though she had seen one like it before. They stumbled down the corridor, careful to keep the cloak ever them and not make any noise. A ghost passed right through them, and Sirius could have sworn he winked. It had felt like someone had poured a cold bucket of water over him and almost sobered him up. Almost. Rachel led the way and took a left, taking him with her. They climbed stairs and stairs until he could feel the cool touch of night air. Finally, the stairs stopped and led to a large door. Rachel got out her wand.

'AloHIC..alohomoro,' she said, pointing it at the door. It made a satisfying pop sound and she pushed it open. It opened onto the top of a tower, similar size to the owlery, but far more attractive without the smell of dead mice and poo. Instead, you could see right over the Loch and the Greenhouses. The moon's silvery orb was reflected in the water of the Great Lake and shone with an unnatural brightness. Rachel took off the cloak once she was sure the door behind her was locked and took a deep breath.

'It's safe here, trust me. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person to have ever been up here,' she said. Well, that wasn't strictly true. Ron and Harry had been up here too, it was their favourite place. 'You can see over all of Hogwarts.' Sirius was shocked that she seemed to know the school better than him. She had been in the Room of Requirement, and no other student he knew of had ever managed that.

'Beautiful,' he said, his voice husky. Rachel looked out into the night, studying the views below her.

'It is, isn't it?'

'I meant you,' he said, sincerely. She gave him a quick smile but looked distracted. 'Hey, what's wrong?'

'Nothing,' she replied. Her wand flicked quickly. 'Accio bag.' To Sirius's surprise a large rucksack rose up from a bush in the grounds towards them. 'I put it there earlier, I thought we might need it.' It landed at her feet with a thump and she bent down to unzip it. When she did that, he could see the perfect curve of her bum and could not resist squeezing it.

'Oi, hands off!' she said, not sounding too outraged and turned around. 'I thought we might need these.' In her hands were a bottle of Firewhiskey, a tartan blanket and a pack of cigarettes.

'Do you know,' Sirius began thoughtfully, 'in all my years at Hogwarts, I have never known another student to smoke?'

'Me neither,' Rachel agreed absentmindedly as she put a cigarette in her mouth and lit up. 'I mean, at Beauxbatons. Must be a Muggle thing.' She took a deep breath in and allowed the smoke to trickle out the side of her face. 'No one else knows I smoke,' she admitted.

'Me neither,' Sirius said. 'They think I'm stupid enough already.'

'Oh, I think my problem is the opposite. They think I'm too smart to smoke.' She flipped open the pack so he could take one. He used his wand as a lighter, and did the same as her, taking a deep breath in then exhaling. She lay the blanket under them and muttered a few words so they wouldn't feel the cold of the night air. It was like being in a bath but different at the same time. He leant back onto the rug, so his back was on the ground and he was looking up the stars. He pulled Rachel down too, putting his arm around her shoulders and letting her rest her head on his chest. He felt the smoke as she exhaled tickling his chin. He took a long drag too and then pointed up at the sky.

'That's Sirius, just there. You can only really see it around this time of year.' Rachel looked up and saw it.

'You're just like your namesake,' she said.

'A dog?'

'No, the brightest star in the sky.' His heart tightened at her words, no one else had ever said anything like that. His natural reaction would be to make an awkward joke and laugh it off, but he knew that she meant it and he couldn't do that.

'And there's Orion,' Sirius pointed out, moving his finger a little to the right. 'See where those three stars are, that's his belt. It's my middle name. Aren't I special?'

'The Hunter,' Rachel said slowly. 'I think I agree with that name choice too.' Sirius poked her.

'Oi, I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.' She laughed and stubbed out her cigarette.

'Me neither.' They lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes, staring at the stars. Rachel nestled against Sirius's body. He could feel the warmth radiating from her. She sat up suddenly, disrupting the position he'd got himself into. She grabbed the bottle of Firewhiskey, knocked back a large slug of the drink and wiped her mouth. She shuddered at the aftertaste but did not grimace at all like people normally did. He felt this was not the first time she had drunk it. She looked down at him from her new position.

'We're gonna have to share, I'm afraid. I forgot cups.' Sirius smiled at her apologetic tone, as though she truly thought he'd be angry.

'That's okay, I don't mind,' he said, taking the bottle from her hands and copying her actions. 'How about a game of I've never, just me and you?'

'Are you just trying to get me drunk, Mr Black?' she asked, her tone mocking. He got up too, dangerously close to her. Their faces were almost touching as they sat opposite each other.

'I think it's a little late for that, Miss Hunter,' he said. She narrowed her eyes at him.

'I am sober, I'll have you know. I can recite my alphabet backwards. Z Y erm… W X. Oh, bloody hell.' Sirius laughed.

'Rachel, I'm impressed. I can't even do that sober, let alone drunk.' She pouted, angry at her mistake and opened her mouth to try again. Sirius shut her up by covering her mouth with his. The taste of wine and vodka and Butterbeer and cigarettes mingled as they kissed, and she conceded defeat.

'Alright, but you're drunk too!' she accused him, her eyes laughing.

'Yeah, fair play,' he said. 'But game on. I've never had a boyfriend.' Rachel took a swig.

'I've never had a girlfriend,' she came back with. Sirius raised his eyebrows at the obvious 'I've never' but drank anyway.

'I've never tried to lick my elbow,' he said, fondly remembering the History lesson. Rachel drank to that too and passed the bottle over so Sirius could join her.

'Everyone has. It's because they say you can't but they're right.'

'They're not, actually,' Sirius corrected her. 'James can.'

'Yeah, well, James is a bit special.'

'You got that right.'

'I've never been rejected,' Rachel came up with. Sirius drank once and was about to put the bottle to his lips again before she pulled it away from him.

'Ohh, do I not get to drink for every time I have been rejected?' he asked.

'No!' she said, shocked. 'That's silly, otherwise I would have drank for every boyfriend. Anyway, how many more times would you have drunk?' Sirius blushed but no one could see it in the darkness.

'23,' he muttered quietly. 'Oi, wait. How many times would you have drunk for every boyfriend?'

'Two,' Rachel replied firmly. 'Oh, wait no. Three… and a half.' She saw Sirius's hurt expression. 'Including you, of course.'

'That's two and a half more than I've had girlfriends,' he said, not wanting to know about the half a boyfriend.

'Don't get all stroppy on me, mister!' she said, tickling him gently. 'One of those was before I met you.' That didn't help, he looked even more upset. 'I'm kidding, my gosh, one was when I was ten, one was a few years ago and I don't want to even go into the half. It didn't really count, it was just to get back at someone else and they didn't even notice.' Sirius felt happier now, but didn't like the fact that anyone else had kissed Rachel. Feeling that he still was not over the whole boyfriend thing, she continued.

'Sirius, you're the only one that has meant anything to me.' This cheered him up completely, so they went on with the game.

'I've never been on a rollercoaster.' (Hermione drank. Before she knew she was a witch, at Brighton Pier. Scared the whole time.)

'I've never dressed up as a piece of food.' (Sirius drank. It wasn't even worth explaining, but he did tell Hermione it was a banana and James dressed up as a gorilla. She guessed the rest.)

'I've never done something for money.' (Both of them drank. Sirius would do pretty much anything for money, him and James made stupid bets constantly. Hermione had been bribed to do essays for people on more than one occasion.)

'I've never got naked for money.' (Sirius drank. More stupid bets. Well, they made the Marauders the Marauders.)

'I've never had sex for money.' (Neither drank.)

'I've never had sex.' (Both drank. For Sirius, it was a girl he rarely spoke to before, and certainly did not speak to after. It was a mutual agreement. For Hermione, it was Viktor..)

'I've never regretted having sex.' (Both drank. Both had only had sex once and deeply regretted it)

'I've never played poker.' (Sirius drank. Remus always won, too)

'I've never stayed up all night.' (Sirius drank. Him, James and Remus sometimes got tired of sleeping and stayed up all night playing games that did not make sense and having what they believed were deep and meaningful conversations. And there were the times his parents had fully blown arguments, throwing things at each other.)

'I've never cried myself to sleep.' (Both paused, then drank. Neither of them explained that one.)

'I've never drank by myself.' (Sirius drank, and kept motioning for Hermione to drink until she finally gave up and drank too.)

'I've never walked in on someone having sex.' (Sirius drank, Lily & James, duh.)

'I've never been skinny dipping,' Sirius said, it being his turn. He took a swig from the almost empty bottle. Hermione shook her head. She had never been skinny dipping, the idea repulsed her. Plus, there was no one that she would have wanted to go skinny dipping with. Sirius had a familiar mischievous twinkle in his eye that he always had when concocting a plan. He offered the remains of the whiskey to Hermione, which slid down her throat far too easily and pulled himself up. He was slightly unsteady on his feet, swaying on the spot but still knew what he was doing. Hermione passed him back the bottle, having emptied it into her mouth and he threw it over the side of the tower. They heard it smash into thousands of pieces, and giggled. A light was switched on at the bottom of the tower, and they could see figures moving around. Teachers just made it all the more exciting. They wore the cloak again, making themselves invisible and took painstakingly slow steps down the stairs trying not to fall. Once they reached the bottom, Sirius grabbed Hermione's hand and squeezed it.

'We'll keep against the walls, like spies!' he whispered quietly but excitedly. Hermione agreed with his logic so they crept over to the wall of the corridor, back against it. Footsteps caused Sirius to stop suddenly, and Hermione to crash into the back of him and fall onto the floor. She was about to break into a fit of giggles when Sirius yanked her back up just before a teacher turned the corner with a lantern.

'If there are any students out, I suggest you reveal yourselves now or you will be in far more trouble when we find you.'

Both of them stiffened under the cloak, Hermione just praying that the teacher was not well read enough to know about the Homenum Revelio spell. They were lucky, the teacher passed right by them. In the poor light of the lantern, Sirius could not work out who it was but it did not matter. The Invisibility Cloak had done its job. After a few minutes of standing completely still, which took a lot of effort considering how much alcohol they had consumed, they began shuffling down the corridor again, with Sirius taking the lead. Both of them were much too nervous to talk but once Sirius had reached his planned destination, he felt it was safe to chat. Hermione recognised it as the door to the Prefect's bathroom, being a prefect herself, but she could not let Sirius know that. He thought she had only been at Hogwarts for less than a week. She sighed, she was getting sick of all the lies she had to tell and she was sure that she'd slip up, and forget her story. Sirius had noticed something was off, too, soon she would have to come clean. But she did not want to destroy everything they had, was the truth really worth it?

The door squeaked, sounding much louder to them than it would have to anyone else due to their drunken nerves. They quickly piled into the room, hoping that no one else was around. Casting the same Muffliato spell that Remus had earlier in the evening, Sirius finally relaxed. He spread one of his arms out, displaying the room proudly. In the middle was a bath the size of a swimming pool with gold taps and everything. Hermione was never lucky enough to come across this room empty and always just used the bathroom up by the Gryffindor tower for convenience.

'You said you've never been skinny dipping,' Sirius said, breaking the silence they had been in since sneaking around the castle. 'Now's your chance.'

Hermione blushed furiously and was, for the first time in her life, lost for words.

'Come on,' he said, trying to encourage her. She nodded, determined, her mind made up. She would try everything once except crystal meth and incest.

'Alright,' she said, relenting. 'But close your eyes, I'll tell you when you can open them.' Sirius nodded dutifully and shut them and placed his hands them over too.

'No peeping!' she called, quickly kicking off her shoes, stripping out of her dress and removing her underwear and earrings. She slid into the bath, not wanting to make too much noise and chose the option for bubble bath. The bath slowly filled up with giant, glistening balls protecting her modesty.

'Okay,' she called over to Sirius, still standing there with his eyes screwed tightly shut. 'You can look now.'

He opened his eyes, hoping for a glorious sight and found himself looking straight at a wall instead. She swam over to the side of the bath, with both of her arms laid on the flat surface and her head resting on them. She gave him a coy wave.

'Over here!' His face fell as he saw that she was already in the bath, but rushed to join her. Hermione had never seen someone take their clothes off so fast and jump into a pool. She screamed softly as he splashed her with water. She escaped to the other end, picked up bubbles in her palm and blew them over to him as he swam over.

'So, what do you think?' he asked her, placing his feet in the bottom of what could only really be called a pool. She stood in front of him, looking deep into his eyes.

'I don't think I've ever been happier,' she replied, honestly.


	17. down those jagged streets & into my bed

_Still the party, I promise it finishes soon! I was gonna have this chapter in the morning, where no one remembers the night before but I like writing about the party. Hope you like reading about it. (: && Pocahontas, I love Sirius too! (almost as much as I love reviews, guys, there's a massive hint there. I wanted to wait till I had 30 reviews but that's a bit mean, so I won't.) I didn't like him in the film, I expected him a bit more Jack Sparrowish. I'm not sure why. There's a bit of Remus/Dirk and James/Lily. I just prefer Sirius/Hermione_

Remus tried to sit down on a chair, but slid to the floor instead and just sat there, staring at the wall. Why was the room spinning? Must be some new magic prank that James or Sirius had come up with. That wasn't very nice of them, it was giving him a headache. He took a healthy swig from his bottle of Butterbeer. He wasn't sure how many of this he'd had, he had lost count at 14, when they'd been playing a game of truth and dare. He had a feeling he'd done a striptease for one of the girls sitting in the circle but he couldn't really remember. A figure walked towards him, struggling to manage it in a straight line, and plonked himself next to Remus.

'Are you okay?' he asked, sounded worried. Remus recognised the voice and sat up straighter.

'Dir'?' he slurred, just to double check.

'Yes, Remus, it's Dirk,' his boyfriend said, taking the half finished bottle out of Remus's hand, not wanting him to drink anymore. 'Do you want some help?'

'Dirk, Dirk,' he repeated himself, trying to remember what he wanted to say. 'I love youuu.' The blonde boy smiled at him patiently. 'Nonono, listen. I love you.' He poked him in the chest, hoping that this would emphasise his point.

'I know you do, Remus. I love you too,' Dirk said, trying to placate the drunken mess that was his boyfriend. 'That's why I'm going to do this.' He got his wand out of his pocket, pointed it at Remus's head and repeated a few words he had learnt from his parents that they used whenever he turned at home during the holidays in a similar state. 'Feel any better?' Remus just groaned, clutching his head.

'What did you do to me?' he said, as though Dirk had been torturing him for hours.

'I sobered you up. You've been hiding in this corner for the past twenty minutes, staring at the wall as though the meaning of life was written on it.'

'Oh,' Remus said softly. 'Sorry.'

'That's alright, I just thought you might want to remember this in the morning.' Dirk put his legs either side of Remus's hips. He straddled him, resting his weight on his own knees so that he would not crush him, and wrapped his arms around his neck. He lent in, eyes closed and Remus did the same - tilting his head to one side. Their lips met somewhere in the middle, and they kissed feverishly. Remus could feel **all **of Dirk, and he was pretty sure Dirk was in the same kind of situation because he pushed him back so he was lying on top of him and moved his legs down his body so that their hips were touching. He roughly grabbed his hair and pulled him further into the kiss. Remus was shocked at how strong and forward the boy was, but he was also enjoying it a lot. Their tongues mingled as Dirk pushed against him, bodies entwined in one another. Remus, lost in the passion of what they were doing, wrapped his legs around Dirk's waist encouraging him to grind against him. Before he knew it, Dirk had stopped and was breathing heavily, much like Remus. He backed away slightly from the embrace, and Remus untangled himself.

'I have to…. Ahem,' Dirk trailed off awkwardly, looking pointedly down. 'Clean up.' All Remus could do was nod as Dirk gave him a quick peck on the lips and walked off. He turned, as though he could tell Remus was already missing him and posed a quick question. 'You don't have a spare pair of trousers, do you?'

Remus coughed and recovered his wits. He was normally the sensible one, not prone to fits of emotion and passion that Dirk made him feel.

'Course. They're in the dorm, in the trunk labelled 'R. Lupin,' he said. Dirk gave a shy yet wicked smile, that made the dimple he had in each cheek apple. It was deeply arousing.

'I don't know where the dorms are,' he replied, raising his eyebrows and hoping that Remus got the hint. 'Could you show me?'

Remus did not even answer the question and was straight on his feet, almost running over to Dirk. He just hoped that the dorms would be empty.

* * *

James slipped his hand in Lily's and interlocked their fingers. Whenever he drank, he got deeply philosophical and often just wanted someone to listen. It was a good thing Lily was a good listener. Well, she had learnt from the best, the best being Snape. It was an odd change of character for him, he was no longer the joker that everyone recognised but slightly more morbid.

'Do you ever think there's more?' he asked her, a vague question that he was not sure he ever wanted answered.

'More?' she repeated, slightly confused. Alcohol made her feel fuzzy. 'More to what?'

'I'm not sure,' he said, dreamily. 'To school, to the world, to life, to death…..to life, to school.' Lily giggled, breaking the mood somewhat.

'You already said that, silly!' she said, punching him, but she calmed down and answered the question. 'Yeah, I do. There has to be more. That's why I hate the house system. You can not generalise people into certain traits. Sure, you're brave like a Gryffindor should be but you're lots of other things instead. You're stupid and reckless with that, you're arrogant ..'

'Hey!' he interrupted her, not wanting to be insulted any further. She brought their hands up to her mouth and kissed his knuckle.

'You're beautiful,' she continued. 'Funny, amazing, thoughtful, caring,' She kissed another knuckle. He paused, pondering what she had said.

'You forgot smart.' She sighed. He asked serious questions, he should have expected a serious answer. Snuggling into him, she asked him the same question.

'Do you ever think there's more?'

'Sometimes,' James said. 'Most of the time. I'm convinced that there's a world that we know nothing about, that if we were faced with it, we wouldn't believe it but to those who live in it's normal. And they know all about us and some of them even hate us and consider us scum but most of them like us. The stuff they have is the stuff we only ever hear about in make believe books or dreams. ' Lily giggled again, he was so stupid sometimes.

'Do you mean, like the Muggles and us?'

'Yeah!' he said excitedly, glad she understood. 'That's exactly what I meant.'

'What about life and death? Is there more after death?' It was a question Lily had never spared much though to, she was too busy living, but she wanted to know James's opinion.

'As long as I'm with you,' he said. 'I don't care.' She smiled, sometimes he said the sweetest things. They had only been going since 5th year, their relationship hadn't even passed the two year mark yet but she somehow knew this was the person that she would get married to. Lily hadn't always believed that though. The first time she met him, she though he was stupid, reckless and arrogant. He had insulted her best friend and expected her to like him. Instead, she had done the opposite. She hated him for almost 3 years solid. But something suddenly clicked. Love and hate were almost the same thing, in the same way life and death were similar. You could not have one without the other. Love and hate were both strong emotions, full of passion. It was easy to get them confused. Lily was distracted from her thoughts by James trailing kisses up her neck. It would seem he was bored of being a philosopher. She stood up, aware that she was surrounded by lots and lots of people in the middle of a party.

'Come on, I'm pretty sure my dorm's empty,' she said, pulling him up.

* * *

Sirius and Hermione fell, breathless, back into the party. Sirius shook his whole body, like a wet dog, trying to dry his hair. Hermione laughed, getting out her wand and trying to remember the complicated wand movements that were needed for the hot air charm she had used at Quidditch matches. It took a few attempts, failures due mostly to the fact she kept dropping her wand but she managed it and directed her wand at her clothes and hair to dry off. She stuck her tongue out triumphantly at Sirius, who just shoved her playfully and shook his hair all over her again. She thought back to the bathroom. She couldn't remember a time she'd last been that wet.

Sirius picked up and slung her over his shoulder before throwing her onto the duvets they'd placed strategically around the room. The party was still in full swing, with empty bottles everywhere. One unfortunate Hufflepuff had passed out and people had taken the opportunity to draw all over him and change the colour of his hair and things like that. He had been hexed beyond recognition, with a strange runny green substance dripping out of all his pores and a penis drawn on his forehead in bright pink pen and an 'I love Salzaar, he's sexy.' across his arm. Poor boy. There were various people hooking up in different parts of the room and one girl crying as people tried to comfort her. Ah, such was life. A raucous game of Twister was happening in one part of the room, and Sirius had no idea where the mat had come from. There was a small group playing Spin the Bottle, and everyone else seemed to be participating in what looked like a mass orgy on the dance floor but was, in fact, just dancing. Sirius scanned the room, hoping for a sight of James or Remus but they both seemed to have disappeared. As had their partners. Suspicious.

'Sirius!' He heard his voice being called from the direction of the dorms. Remus sauntered down, hand in hand with Dirk, practically glowing with happiness. 'Sirius, I love you. I just want you to know that.' Sirius hugged Remus as he approached them, picking him up and spinning him around.

'I love you too, Remus baby.'

'Oi!' shouted Dirk, not sounding too angry. 'Only I can call him that.' Remus glanced at him, and Dirk winked before he grabbed Remus's face in his hands and pulled him in for a long kiss. Hermione and Sirius exchanged looks but allowed them to have their happiness.

'Hermione!' Now it was Hermione's turn to look, this time in the direction of the girl's dorms. Lily, wrapped around James, sauntered down too, looking like a cat that's got the cream. The couple went and stood next to Dirk and Remus, looking down at Sirius and Hermione accusingly.

'Where have you two been?!' they asked, interrogating the third couple. Sirius and Hermione shrugged, and the corner of Sirius's mouth curled up.

'Getting to know each other better,' he answered. 'We could ask you the same thing.' The other two couples all exchanged knowing looks.

'Yeah, pretty much the same,' Remus replied.

'And for us,' James said.

No more was said on the matter, everyone could guess the unspoken words.

'Guys,' Sirius said, saluting the group nobly. 'I think we should go and mingle. I fear all six of us have been anti social enough and we must go and drink more and socialise and cause havoc and have fun.' He raised his bottle, and the others did the same. 'Cheers.'

'Cheers.'


	18. there's only so much i can do for you

_9 more chapters planned until the end, so I am going to bore you a bit longer. Subject to change depending on how lazy I am, though. I know whether Sirius and Hermione are going to stay together or not and you don't! hahaha. ( ; Feel free to review. Feel free to go and make yourself some green tea, because it prevents lung cancer according to some thing I just read. Or just be your own person, yeah? Feel free to do what you want to do. Also I got severe writer's block doing this chapter, so please appreciate it. I just can't get the character of Lily right, I keep making her petty and selfish and stuff and she's not. So yeah, Lily's a bit OOC._

Hermione groaned. She felt as though she had been locked in a box with an angry blasted ended skrewt for a few days. She shifted, trying to distract herself from the throbbing pain in her head and was surprised for her foot to hit another body.

'Murggggh,' the body said, obviously in an equal state to her. 'Wa'?'

Hermione tried to speak, but her mouth was too dry. She licked her lips, and tried again.

'Who is that?'

'I dunno, jus' lemme sleep, yeh,' the body replied, rather rudely Hermione thought. She pushed herself up, about to remonstrate with whoever it was when her hand pressed against a soft, warm surface. She had a feeling it was another person

'No, Lily, stop that!' this one said, still asleep and dreaming. James, Hermione assumed grimly. She managed to sit up without touching anyone else, and glanced around. There were six bodies on her bed, all sleeping awkwardly. Sirius was curled up like a dog, in a ball at the foot of the bed. Dirk and Remus were spooning on one side of the bed, Lily was sprawled over James on the other side and Hermione had been lying the opposite way around, rather uncomfortable in the middle, her head near Sirius's. She gingerly stepped up on the bed, praying that the bed wouldn't squeak like it normally did as she did not want to disturb anyone. She had to almost jump from the centre of the bed onto the floor, landing quietly. Sirius moved, but he was just turning over on to his other side. She made her way carefully through the discarded bottles and sleeping bodies that seemed to take up any available space, aware that she was the only one awake. She was still in the black dress from the night before and was sure that her make up was smudged all down her face.

The night before. She remembered talking to some people about S.P.E.W. She remembered the bathroom. She remembered the six of them having a very serious discussion, yet could not remember what the very serious discussion was about. Hopefully a shower would help her regain her memory. Luckily, there was a large bathroom in the Gryffindor tower that supplied its own towels and shampoo and stuff. She pushed the door open of the bathroom, having crossed the common room as though it was a mine field. It was empty. Thank God, she did not want anyone seeing her like this. She glanced in a mirror above a sink. She didn't look too bad. Bleary eyed, granted, she was hungover and had just woken up but her make up and hair were still in place. She slipped out of her clothes and into the scalding hot shower, grateful for the never ending supply of hot water in the castle. The water ran over her, getting the smell of stale cigarettes and alcohol off. She had smelt like a pub. Washing her hair would mean that it would go back to its original frizzy state, but she was determined to get clean. She shampooed and conditioned it violently, destroying the last remains of the party. She towelled herself dry, put her underwear back on and wrapped the towel around her. It covered more of her body than her dress did. She used a quick spell to clean her teeth and headed back her room, hoping people were still asleep.

Hermione was in luck. People were still unconscious as she crept through the common room and back to her dorm. She rummaged through the trunk for something to wear when two hands covered her eyes. She swallowed a scream, remembering to stay quiet for the sake of everyone else.

'Good morning, sunshine,' she heard Sirius whisper in her ear, his hot breath against her neck. He smelt of mint shower gel, so he must have got up just after her.

'Hello,' she whispered back happily, glad she was not alone in the world of the living. 'Just give me two seconds.'

'Of course,' he said, removing his hands and letting her see again. He sat, cross legged, on the floor watching her as she changed into a pair of tight jeans and a fitting v-neck black t-shirt. She had black flats that she slipped into and the look was complete. She turned around, wanting to know what he was wearing. It was very similar to her, jeans and a plain faded grey t-shirt that looked like it once had writing on. He wore a leather bracelet and some beads on his wrist, and black hi-top Converse on his feet. They were slightly scuffed, with frayed laces but suited him.

'The others will be up soon. I set an alarm for 8.30am, which is in, oh, about 5 minutes,' Sirius told her.

'Just what I need,' she said, grimacing. 'I already have a hangover from hell, a headache would be just what the doctor ordered.' Sirius flicked her point away with his hand.

'I know the best cure for a hangover. Fry up. Good thing that's what's for breakfast this morning, right?' Hermione smiled, the thought of the nausea she had been feeling going away.

'Sounds perfect, never mind a strip of bacon, I could eat the whole pig.' Sirius bent down and, sweeping her hair out of the way, kissed her on the forehead.

'My perfect girl.'

Hermione felt uncomfortable as they walked down to the Great Hall because of the mess and people they left behind. Sirius could tell by the wrinkle on her forehead.

'Don't worry about it,' he said. 'With the alarm, there is a tidying up spell Remus learnt from his mum. He grew up in a house with four brothers, so it's a pretty effective spell.' Hermione relaxed. 'Plus, everyone's going to want to cure their hangover so they will come down to breakfast. That's a Quidditch match today.'

Hermione didn't know whether to smile or scold. He sounded so excited at the sound of the sport, she knew he played on the Gryffindor team, but he had been stupid enough to organise a party the day before. As though he could read her mind, he spoke again.

'I've played Quidditch drunk. This is nothing.' Hermione was not reassured but let it go as they entered the Great Hall and sat down. Sirius picked up two plates, and doled them both up as high as he could with bacon, sausages, scrambled eggs and toast. He pushed one towards her and took the other.

'Eat, it's good.' Hermione took one look and wanted to throw up, but knew it was for her own good and persevered. She took a forkful and put it in her mouth. Sirius watched her with amusement, waited till she began eating it and starting consuming the food in front of him quickly. Within a few minutes, both of them were helping themselves to seconds. It was at this point everyone from the party turned up, looking like casualties from war and smelling like a brewery. The teachers all tactfully ignored it, knowing that sometimes the students like to blow off steam. Strangely enough, when Remus, Dirk, James and Lily all came and sat next to Hermione and Sirius, they were practically bouncing. They did not seem hungover at all. They all smiled at each other, sharing a secret that neither Hermione nor Sirius knew. There was a minute silence as Hermione and Sirius took it all in.

'Guys,' Sirius said. 'I don't mean to be rude, but you guys drank the same if not more as us. Why are you so… happy?'

Remus puffed his chest out and looked proud.

'Dirk's parents know a spell to cure hangovers. They used it last New Year and Dirk memorised it. We might actually have a chance of winning this match. He's already used it on all the Gryffindor team. Now just you and Hermione to go.'

Dirk got out his wand, seeing that Hermione and Sirius were more than willing. He made a few complicated wand movements, and they felt a wave of life had passed through them. They smiled gratefully at him, and he nodded, returning to breakfast. The conversation soon turned to Quidditch and the upcoming match between rivals Slytherin and Gryffindor. Lily grew bored, and being opposite Hermione, began talking to her instead, in quieter tones so the boys would not notice. They were too distracted anyway, by Sirius's demonstration, using a sausage as a broom, of the last match between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and the amazing catch from Ravenclaw's seeker, Alex Stebbins.

'You never told me you kissed Snape!' she hissed angrily. 'I thought we were friends.' Hermione was shocked, how did she find out about that? Although, it was a stupid question. Snape was devoted to Lily and would tell her anything.

'We are,' Hermione whispered back, motioning that they moved further down the table as she did not want to catch Sirius's attention. The boys were too engrossed to notice her and Lily move a few more places down the table so they could continue the conversation. 'But you're better friends with Sirius.'

Lily's face wrinkled up as she thought about the valid point that Hermione had made.

'Even so..' she said.

'Yes, and Snape asked me not to,' Hermione said. 'I guess he wanted to tell you for himself.'

'I suppose,' Lily said, the closest she would get to saying that she was wrong. 'I'm sorry. It's just, I trust you with things about me and James, I just hoped you trusted me too.'

'I do, I do!' Hermione replied quickly, not wanting to upset one of the closest female friends she'd ever made. 'But you and James mean something. Me and Snape don't. It was just because I was feeling lonely, moving to a new school and everything, and I mistook the fact I liked him for something more. It was nothing and I'm sure he has said the same.'

Lily nodded.

'Yeah, he said he loves someone else. I hope its not still me, he had a silly crush on me in third year but I'm sure he's over that,' Lily admitted. Hermione shrugged, not wanting to spill Snape's secret and surprised at the fact Lily could not see that he was desperately in love with her. She had a feeling that Snape would never be over Lily.

'Yeah, you've got James now so I'm sure he's had to get over you,' Hermione said. 'But please don't tell Sirius, I don't want him to get the wrong idea or anything.' Lily noted the pleading tone in her voice.

'He means a lot to you, doesn't he?' Lily asked, tilting her head to the side to look at Hermione curiously.

'Yeah,' she replied, unsure and thinking hard. 'Yes, he does,' she said, a lot firmer. 'I've never met anyone like him before. He infuriates me. He is rude and arrogant but at the same time he's the kindest, most sensate person I've ever met. He knows the right things to say, he can tell what mood I'm in and make it better even if I'm already happy. He remembers my favourite things and will surprise me with them just because he wants to. He's just…' She trailed off, not wanting to go on.

'Of course. He's your James.' Lily said simply. She understood completely 'And of course I won't tell Sirius, friends keep secrets and promises,' she said, giving Hermione a bright smile glad that they had made up. Hermione smiled back, her heart slowing as she knew that Lily was kind enough to stick to her word. 'Come on, we better go and rejoin the boys.'

They returned just as James threw a roll at Sirius, trying to explain Slytherin's tactics.

'Whatever,' Sirius huffed. 'We're going to beat them because we're better than them, simple as.'

'Course you are, sweetheart,' Hermione said, patronizing him. He poked her in her ribs, taking her joke the right way.

'Shush, you. You are coming to see me play, right?' he asked, making sure that she was going to see him win. She rarely saw that side of him.

'Of course I am,' Hermione said. 'Wouldn't miss it for the world.'

She would have to delay her search for a way home another day, or at least until after the match. It wasn't a very hard decision to make, she just hoped she had a Gryffindor scarf in that trunk of hers.


	19. after all those things u put me through

_Agh, I hate this chapter! So much. But I haven't really shown a lot of Hogwarts, it's been more about the relationships so yeah. It's probably the most pathetic account of a Quidditch match, ever, sorry!. Anyway, yeah, stop drinking that green tea and review. If you don't want lung cancer, just don't smoke. Or marry a zebra. Because how many people do you know with lung cancer married to a zebra? Exactly, none. It just doesn't happen._

The whistle blew and Hermione watched as the Quaffle was thrown into the air by the referee. She was huddled in between Lily and Remus. Lily was stood next to Snape, who Remus seemed to have no problem with and who James and Sirius were too busy on the pitch to notice, and Remus was stood next to Dirk, clasping his hand. Hermione did not feel alone in anyway, however, she could pick Sirius out immediately up on the brooms due to his messy, black hair and the reckless style of flying that was just so him. She could pick at James too, though. She kept mistaking him for Harry, this was just like the other week when Gryffindor played and she went to support Ron and Harry. She loved Sirius, but she was homesick too. She was quickly distracted however, as she saw another of the chasers throw the Quaffle to Sirius who skilfully aimed it through one of the hoops. The Slytherin keeper was not quick enough and Sirius scored.

'10-0 Gryffindor,' a large voice echoed over the stadium. It seemed that the commentary that Hermione was used to was a modern addition to the game played at Hogwarts. She didn't mind, she was content with the score - as long as Gryffindor were winning. She felt a sudden nudge to her left and Remus passed her a bottle. She flinched, just remembering the alcohol from the night before. Remus laughed at her reaction.

'It's pumpkin juice, fancy some?' Hermione blushed because of her previous actions and took a gulp.

'Thank you,' she said and passed it along to Lily and Snape who both had some too. The game was like any other, it was difficult to keep an eye on all the action from the ground. The Quaffle seemed to being passed from end to end of the pitch, with goals being scored rarely as the Keepers of both teams seemed to be guarding their goals with a vengeance. Occasionally, the odd goal did get scored and the score being '70-50', Gryffindor when someone was knocked off their broom by a Bludger. A teacher quickly rushed over to the ground to patch the player up, it was just the simple matter of a few broken bones which there was a potion, no doubt, that could heal that and a substitute was quickly sent on to replace the player, and the match continued. Half an hour in, Hermione suddenly jumped as Lily screamed.

'He's noticed it, see, see!' she squealed, pointing at James who seemed to be nose diving, his broom almost perpendicular to the ground. Much like his son, he was an excellent seeker. It obviously ran in the family. He closed his hands round something, Hermione wasn't close enough to the pitch to see if it was the Snitch and he crashed into the ground, the broom splintering. He did a forward roll, to try and soften the blow the ground would bring and jumped up triumphantly, holding the snitch for all to see. The Slytherin seeker, not far behind, crashed right next to him and swore loudly. The rest of the two teams returned to the ground and either spat at it angrily, or went up and hugged James, hoisting him onto their shoulders. He protested, but not too loudly as he was enjoying the attention. Sirius glowed, glad that Rachel had seen him score and the team win. He hoped that she was glad she was in Gryffindor.

Both him and James, after patting and hugging the team and congratulating everyone on the victory, showered and got changed back into their own clothes quickly, slinging their uniforms into kit bags and locking their brooms away, so that they could escape and meet the others. It was a beautifully sunny, warm day despite snowing earlier in the week. Weather in Britain could be temperamental sometimes. The other four were waiting for them down by the Lake, next to a tree they'd arranged to meet at earlier.

Rachel saw them first, and she leapt up and ran towards Sirius, jumping onto him and wrapping her long legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, planting kisses all over his face and neck. Breathless, she got off him.

'Well done!! You won.' Remus sauntered over too, leaving Dirk to set up lunch which they'd managed to convince the house elves to give them after scrounging around the kitchen. He proffered a hand to Sirius, who took it warmly, shook it and then just went it for a hug anyway.

'Yeah, you did alright,' Remus said. Sirius punched him lightly on the arm.

'You did better than that! You did brilliantly,' Rachel said, obviously excited that she was in the winning team's house and going out with the winning team's star's chaser. Sirius gave an exaggerated bow to his adoring audience.

'I know,' he said, once he wasn't bent over. He gave that cheeky smile, where only half his mouth seemed to curve up. Now it was Remus's turn to punch him.

Lily seemed to be giving James a similar sort of reward for winning, she had crushed him against a tree and they hadn't stopped kissing yet. James's hands were on her bum, and he seemed to be supporting her so that her lips could find reach his better. Her tongue explored his mouth, a familiar place for her. Their breath mixed as James put his arms tighter around her, not wanting her to stop. He could taste her, that indefinable taste of a fresh spring day, the perfume she wore, the aniseed balls she was so fond of and something else, that he could never quite put his finger on but enjoyed nonetheless. He felt her melt in his hands and he softened his kiss, no longer testosterone induced after the match. She unstuck herself from his lips and stroked his jaw line with her finger, placing gentle kisses on his neck until! He felt himself jolt, as she sank her teeth into his neck, wanting to leave a mark to prove she was his. She nibbled and sucked at his neck, he loved the contrast of the softness of her tongue and the hardness of her teeth digging into him. She took a step back, satisfied of the small lovebite she had given him. They returned the group, not in the least bit embarrassed about the public display of affection. The others made no comment either, having indulged in similar things. Instead, they offered Lily and James some of the sandwiches being passed around.

'I don't understand how you can eat that,' Hermione said, shuddering at the sight of Sirius eating a marmite sandwich. 'It tastes like I imagine death would. Don't expect me to kiss you for the next few days.'

She turned her head to the side as his lips came closer to her, so he ended up placing a kiss on her cheek.

'It's not that bad,' he whined.

'I agree,' James and Lily said simultaneously. 'I like marmite.' Remus and Dirk joined Hermione.

'No, it's disgusting,' Dirk argued.

'All it is is bacteria,' Remus informed them. 'It's made of yeast, like the dregs of Muggle beer.'

'How do you know this shit?' Sirius asked Remus, amazed with all the random facts he came out with.

'I read, Sirius. Something I recommend you doing if you want to pass this year.'

'Nah, I was just going to sit next to you in the exam and copy you,' Sirius said, upset at Remus's comments but not giving it away. Rachel seemed to be able to tell his shift in body language however, and distracted him.

'Here, try this.' She picked a strawberry up.

'But that's healthy!' he exclaimed, giving it a disgusted look.

'Trust me,' she said and held it to his mouth. He took a bite and juice ran down her fingers. He swirled his tongue around the tips, licking the juice off. She tingled at the feel of it and wished that they weren't surrounded by other people.

'See,' she said, trying not to just pounce on top of Sirius and kissing him till he was raw. 'That wasn't too bad, was it?' He looked deep into her eyes, if trying to find the answer to a question he'd longed for.

'No,' he said, in a low voice. She shivered at the sound of it, even though the sun was bright above them. The grounds of Hogwarts seemed covered in groups of students from lots of different houses. Some, like the, were just sitting around and chatting. There was a game of Frisbee that many people seemed involved it. Interrupting the conversation Dirk, Remus and James were having about the best broom to buy as Lily rolled up her top to show off her flat stomach that she wanted to tanned despite being ginger and pale, Hermione suggested that they play 'It' on the grass. This was met with enthusiasm, so after they had demolished the picnic, they all agreed that Remus was the first on. He was the only one that didn't argue when they picked someone to be on, being the agreeable soul that he was. They all ran, in different directions so it would be harder for him to get someone. However, each one of them underestimated Remus's athletic prowess, and he managed to tag James before long. James then tagged someone sitting down in a separate group to them, who wasn't even playing, but got up and joined it. This started a mass game all across the fields, people getting confused and running after each other. Sirius found himself being on, and he chased after Hermione, tackling her to the floor, kissing her fiercely on the lips and then tapping her slightly.

'It.' She laughed, and pushed him off so they were both laying on their backs. The rest of the Marauders and partners come and joined them, giving up on the game due to the fact they were out of breath and hot and sweaty and collapsing on the ground instead.

'Aquamenti,' Hermione said, brandishing her wand up. A jet of water streamed out the end, covering them all in a cool spray of droplets. They all sighed peacefully, cooling down.

'That one looks like a rabbit,' she heard Lily say from behind her. She moved her head around so it was facing the same way as Lily and saw the cloud that she meant, with two large protrusions from a circle that could resemble a rabbit.

'That one looks like a werewolf,' she heard Dirk say but she was too tired to keep her eyes open anymore, so she adjusted her body so that her head was resting on Sirius's stomach and her body was facing the sunshine, so she could get a tan like Lily had been trying earlier. Sirius started stroking her hair gently, letting it run through his fingers. She felt relaxed, surrounded by friends who were just having fun. Just before she drifted off to sleep, she heard James's suggestion.

'That one looks like a giant ripping off a goblin's head and feeding it to a giant flesh eating spider.'


	20. this is not goodbye, she said

'Guys, have you seen Rachel anywhere?' Sirius asked his friends.

'Yeah,' Lily said. 'She said something about going down the Library.'

'I think she had some work to do,' James supplied, helpfully.

'No, I've looked there,' Sirius said, shaking his head.

'She might have just gone to the toilet,' Remus put in.

'No, I waited for quite a while. I have something I have to show her.'

'Dunno, mate,' James said, patting him on the back. 'She's probably found someone else.'

Sirius grabbed James by the collar and slammed him against the wall. Before James could say anything, Sirius raised his arm up above his head, his hand clenched in a fist ready to punch him in the face. James flinched, covering his face with his arms and Sirius realised what he was doing. He released James and lowered his arm, breathing heavily.

'I'm sorry,' he said, clearly upset. 'It's just… I can't find her anywhere. She disappeared after dinner. She's never done that before.'

The group looked shocked, but accepted his explanation. He was just worried.

'She might just be lost,' Remus suggested. 'It may seem like she's been here forever, but she is new. Hogwarts is confusing.'

Sirius's eyes lit up, a gleam of hope entering them. 'Yeah, maybe.'

He spent an hour wandering around the castle, he knew it better than most. The others helped him too, and when they met back at Gryffindor common room, not one person had seen her. But Sirius had a sudden epiphany. There was one part of the school that he had never seen before until Rachel had taken him there. The tower, that they had stargazed on. He ran up there, and pushed the door open. There was a huddled figure sitting on the floor, their shoulders shaking. The sobs abruptly stopped, however, as the door creaked to a shut.

'Rachel?' Sirius asked, tentatively. He watched as a hand went up to her face, to wipe away tears.

'Yeah,' she replied, thickly, her voice quivering with emotion. 'Hi, Sirius.' He walked over to her, and sat down, putting an arm around her. Her defences collapsed, and she broke into tears again. He held her against him, and didn't mind as his top got wet. After a while, she stopped and looked up at him, red eyed.

'Sorry,' she murmured.

'That's alright,' he said, shocked that she'd apologise. 'What's up?'

She glanced down, not able to look him in the eyes. She said something too quietly for him to hear.

'Babe, I won't mind. I know you're not a guy or anything,' he said, trying to encourage her. She hiccupped a laugh, not clear through her tears that were streaming down her face. He held her tighter, scared that something terrible had happened.

'I am leaving,' she said, a little louder, her crying receding slightly. 'I have to go back.'

'Back?' Sirius asked, not quite understanding what she'd just said. 'Back to France?'

She paused, unsure about what she going to say next but then nodded. Sirius released his hold on her.

'How long have you known you've had to go back?'

'Honestly? Since I first got here,' Rachel admitted softly. Sirius pushed her away and stood up.

'What the hell, Rachel?!' He exploded, anger the only way he knew how to deal with his grief. 'Do you do this a lot? String guys along, and then break their heart?' Rachel did not react to his anger, though.

'No,' she said tenderly, a contrast to his shouting. 'Sirius, trust me, I didn't mean to fall in love.' This did nothing to his anger, if anything, it increased it.

'I can't trust you! Our whole relationship has been a lie!' He swore she muttered something like, 'If only you knew.' but he was too busy ranting to pick up on it. 'I don't know if you meant anything you said! How can I…' He faltered, not managing to contain his anger. He swore loudly and kicked a stone pillar. Rachel stood up and took a step towards him, her eyes filled with tears.

'Don't do this,' she said. 'Please.'

'You can't say that!' Sirius turned away from her. 'You can't say anything to make this better!' She grabbed his hand, forcing him to look at her.

'Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt thy love,' she recited, her voice full of feeling.

'NO!' he yelled angrily, yanking his hand out of her grasp. 'You can't just come along and be beautiful and break my heart and quote Hamlet and expect everything to be better! I told you things I barely admitted to myself. I bet you just laughed at them, stupid Sirius taking himself seriously for once when he's just a massive failure.'

It was the sound of this that made Hermione boil over, too. She brushed away her tears. Why had she thought the truth, well, half truth, would be a good idea? She had just caused both Sirius and her to be upset, which is not what she wanted. But, if she just left without a word, would that be worse? She wasn't sure it would, her memories would now be tarnished with this argument. She slapped Sirius hard around the face. His cheek turned a bright red and she had never seen him look so furious, even when Remus had been insulted He pushed her up against a wall, his arms creating a prison with her. It didn't intimidate her, though.

'HOW DARE YOU!' she screamed at him. 'I have never been anything but myself around you! Maybe you are as stupid as you say you are, if you claim I ever thought that! You are many things, Sirius Black, but stupid and a failure is not one of them! And this is not a one way thing. You have seen parts of me that not even my best friends have!' She pushed him away, exhausted by all the yelling and just sat back down. 'Just leave, I never want to see you again.'

All she really wanted was to feel his arms around her, and his lips against hers, kissing it all better. Instead, she felt him leave and the door swing shut loudly behind her. She sighed, resting her head on her knees, her arms wrapped around her entire body and she sobbed bitterly. She hated the way she did not hate him, not even close, not one little bit, not at all. She hated the fact she was desperately in love with him and yet had to leave him behind and watch him die in 20 years time.

Sirius strode angrily around the castle, trying to find an escape. He got to the passage way behind the statue's hump. It was only once he was hidden from the outside world that he allowed himself to start crying. He lost control and everything just streamed out of him in the form of tears. Rachel represented everything good in his life. Her leaving just reminded him how truly crap his existence was. The teachers were right, he was never going to do anything worthwhile with his life. That was left up to people like Remus or James, not him.

He punched the wall of the alley, trying to get rid of some of the emotions that were running through his body, but instead it just made him hurt more. He curled up in the foetal position, just letting the truth of what Rachel said wash over him.

Hermione ran to the Gryffindor Common Room, not caring who saw her red rimmed eyes. As she entered in in a panic, knowing that Sirius had stormed off, James called over to her, oblivious of the fact she had been crying.

'Rachel, Sirius's been looking for you. He's pre..' James stopped when Remus kicked him sharply on the shins. He rubbed his leg, flashing Remus an angry look but Remus shook his head and stood up to offer Rachel some comfort. He hugged her, and Hermione let the warmth of his body cover her.

'Have you guys had an argument?' he whispered, sympathetically. Hermione did not trust herself to speak, and nodded instead.

'It happens to the best of couples,' Lily said.

'I don't think I can fix this, though,' Hermione said quietly.

'Nah,' James said. 'Sirius is rash, he'll get over it.'

'Not this, I'm afraid. I'm going back to France.' The three of them gasped audibly, shocked at Hermione's revelation. They were not angry at her, though, more sad on her and Sirius's behalf. Hermione tried to give a nonchalant shrug, but could not bring herself to do it and instead collapsed into tears instead. James looked embarrassed, but Lily and Remus tightened their hug around her. 'He's never going to forgive me!'

'I'm sure he will,' Remus aid reassuringly. 'Do you know where he's gone?' Hermione shook her head, despondently. 'No worries,' he continued brightly. 'I'm sure we'll find him.' As soon as the words left his mouth, the door squeaked open and they all glanced around. Standing on the doorway, with his hair hanging limply over his eyes which were, like Hermione's, red rimmed. There was a hushed silence over the room, as everyone watched to what would happen. Sirius stood there, awkwardly, not sure what to say after his outburst. Hermione, however, just ran into his arms. He seemed shocked, and almost fell back at the ferocity of her hug but returned it. She stood on her tiptoes, and planted a large kiss on his lips. After the embrace, they both promptly burst into tears. Remus and James tried to shepherd them into somewhere quieter so they wouldn't make a scene, and gave them a gentle push in the direction of the girls dorms. Hermione was grateful, she was less upset and less prone to saying anything stupid. Sirius, however, stood firmly in his place.

'No,' he said simply. 'I have something better. Meet me at the room of requirement in ten minutes?'


	21. it is just time for me to rest my head

_Hey, hope you enjoyed the 'Ten things I hate about you' quote I threw in there. I love that film! Updating quickly because I either want to move on to a Draco/Hermione story, some sort of Sirius one or one with the Weasley twins. Yeah. (: If you'd like to leave a review, that'd be really good. Just, this story is good/bad/neither/both and I like/hate/don't care about the character of [enter name here]. Yeah, cool. Or, you know, instead of a review you could put a fact about A Level Statistics, that'd be pretty wicked too. I hate revising. Also, apologies for any typos. There seems to be hundreds, no matter how many times I check through chapters._

The door of the room seemed to lead outside, Hermione had never seen the Room of Requirement manipulated in this way. Sirius led her by the hand, clearly excited by his plan. Hermione could only look in amazement as they walked into a park, similar to that of St James's, in London, that she had once visited as a child but about a thousand times more magical than that. There were no buildings and she could not hear the steady flow of traffic at all. Instead, the path they were on went past a small lake and avenues of trees and old fashioned streetlamps and far off in the distance she could see a bandstand with lights flickering all around it. It felt like early evening, dusk, with the stars just beginning to show. It was warm though, with a summer breeze drifting through. Sirius lent in and nibbled on her ear, gently.

Sirius took her silence as a good thing, he could tell that she was amazed by it all. Yes, Hermione was shocked, it was her perfect date. A yellow butterfly fluttered by. It was the most romantic scene she had ever seen. A herd of unicorns were drinking from the lake, upon which was a small red rowing boat she had once seen on a postcard and never forgotten about. They made their way up the path, towards the bandstand, with Hermione curious about everything. Bushes of roses were either side of the path, and Sirius bent down and picked one, presenting it to Hermione. She smiled, their argument forgotten. It was clear Sirius was just trying to make the most of the time they had left.

'It's perfect,' Hermione said, squeezing Sirius's hand, unable to put into words what she was feeling.

'It's a date,' Sirius replied. 'We've never been on one, and I thought we should. Come on!' He pulled her towards the lake, and startled the unicorns.

'Overkill?' he asked her, nudging his head at the unicorns.

'No,' she said firmly. 'It's perfect.' It had gradually grown darker, and the moon was full. The lake seemed silver in the reflection, like a sickle. Sirius took off his jumper, so that he was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. His arms looked ripped as the sleeves hit him just where his muscles were biggest, half way down his bicep. He used these muscles to grab the rope that docked the boat, and hauled it in, bringing the boat closer to them as it had strayed from the shore. He gave Hermione an arm so that she was secure when she got into the boat, then jumped into it too. Hermione looked at him, his messy hair in the way of his face. She pushed it back, so she could see his beautiful grey eyes that looked just like the moon above them. It was strange, he was handsome, but there was better looking boys than him yet none made them feel like he did. He was familiar, like an old worn pair of jeans, yet he always made her feel something new every time she was with him. She knew that he was dangerous and reckless, yet felt completely secure with him.

Sirius grabbed the thick oars either side of their bodies in the boat, and slid them into the water. He starting making powerful strokes, until they had rowed to the centre of the lake. This gave him enough time to study the girl opposite him. Even when she had been crying, she had still been beautiful, the tears gracefully fell down her cheek in a way they did in black and white films, but never seemed to in real life. However, she was happy now, smiling at him as though there was nothing else important in the world apart from him. She was the only person to think that of him. He was glad they had both forgotten about the argument, and put it behind them. Instead, he just wanted to remember the best parts of her. The curl in her fringe that always managed to escape, never matter how many times she tucked it behind her ear. Her smile, that always reached her eyes and made him happy too. The fact she taught him something new every time she was with him, like the proper name for potions or that if she pulled his hair when she kissed him, it drove him wild but in a good way.

Hermione trailed her fingers through the water, making ripples as they travelled. She was still enjoying the beauty of where Sirius had brought her. Soon, they stopped, drifting on the lake like a water lily. Sirius brought the oars back into the boat so his arms were free. Hermione noticed the familiar glint in his eye and he started to crawl towards her on his knees, trying to retain his balance and not tip the boat. She lay back, looking up at the sky. She could see a bright star. She would have giggled at the fact she could see Sirius, the star, if the real Sirius, her Sirius had not covered her mouth with his. He put one knee in between her thighs, and one the other side of her hip. He used his arms so that he did not crush her with his body weight, and put them either side of her shoulders, almost as though he was doing a press up above her. And gently, ever so gently, his lips touched hers. Hermione did not move, he was rarely gentle, normally passionate. Yet, he was taking this slowly. He drew away, looking down at her. Hermione felt as though he was stripping her naked, but not like he had before in the bathroom, but bare - completely and utterly bare. He moved his mouth dangerously close to hers again and it took all her energy not to throw her arms around him and bite his lip until he complied. Instead, she let her eyes follow him as he drew closer and closer. He caught the corner of her mouth, sneaking a quick kiss. He moved down her body slightly, one of his hips digging into her stomach slightly. She shifted, uncomfortably, and he raised his body up a little higher ever conscious of how she was feeling. He dipped his head, to kiss her. As their lips met, Hermione had to stop herself from moaning. Sirius took the opportunity of her parted lips to slip his tongue into the warmth of her mouth. Hermione suddenly grabbed his arms, wanting to be on top and pin Sirius under her, forgetting that they were in a boat. It rocked violently from side to side, before they both tumbled out into the warm waters of the lake. The mood was broken, and Sirius chuckled. He pushed his hands through the water, splashing Hermione who retaliated fiercely by wrapping her legs around his chest and trying to dunk his head under the water. However, he easily escaped her clutches her and swam back to the shore, lying on the grassy lawns of the park. He removed his t-shirt and wringed it out. His perfect body glistened in the moonlight. Hermione soon joined him, wanting to get dry too.

'There's spare clothes up at the bandstand,' he mentioned. 'Race you there?' Hermione was already half way down the path, when Sirius had managed to get up and chase after her. She beat him by a few scant seconds, but he generously proclaimed it a draw due to her cheating. The lights surrounding the bandstand were simply floating balls of light, suspended by magic. There was a pale purple dress made of a material that seemed to shimmer and a black suit that seemed casual at the same time, with a linen white shirt and a vintage waistcoat. Although, Hermione supposed, it was only vintage in the future, it was probably really fashionable now. Sirius helped Hermione into her dress and he stripped down, and changed too. They were both barefoot, but in the warmth of the evening it did not matter. Music began from somewhere, gentle jazz. Hermione glanced in the direction of the sound, and instruments appeared to be playing themselves. A quartet, a piano, saxophone, cello and guitar, produced a recognisable melody. It seemed to drift over the park. Sirius bowed after doing up his last button. Hermione laughed and curtsied, holding a corner of her dress as she bent her knees elegantly. When she stood straight, Sirius slid his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. Hermione circled his neck with her arms, gently tugging at strands of his hair at the base of his neck, knowing that he enjoyed it. They did not speak, words would just have cheapened it. Instead, they just enjoyed each other's presence, knowing that it would not last long. Hermione nestled her head in a dip between Sirius's neck and shoulder as he gently span around. Their bodies were closely pressed together, as though they were one person. They alternated from one foot to the other, dancing around the wooden bandstand. Eventually, the song came to a natural finish and they let go of one another. Hermione could not help but think that she would soon have to leave him, but she pushed it out her mind as they left the bandstand.

'Sorry, I tried to get them to play your favourite song. You just can't get the staff these days, can you?' Sirius joked, starting a conversation. 'Lucky they knew your favourite colour, right?' He looked down at her dress. Hermione grinned at the fact he remembered her favourite colour.

'Yes,' she said, twirling so that her dress billowed out. 'I forgot to get you anything.'

'Don't worry, I'm sure you can pay it back somehow,' he suggested, his eyes twinkling. He stood in front of her, causing her to stop. 'I'm kidding, Rachel. You are the greatest gift,' he said. 'I do not need anything more.' She shuddered at the sound of the name Rachel. It was a lie, and she was fed up of doing that to him. Yet, he would not believe the truth. She smiled, covering up the shudder by saying that she was cold. He lent her suit jacket to her, dropping it over her shoulder. She snuggled into it, as it smelt like him.

'What's your favourite song?' she asked, enjoying listening to him talk, knowing that it was nearing the last time she would hear his voice.

'Oh, I couldn't narrow it down to just one.'

'Favourite Muggle song?' Hermione asked, hoping it would be a little less vague.

'Oh, that's obvious. It would be a Beatles one. If anything, they're underrated. Daytripper, when they have Jimi Hendrix playing an amazing solo in the middle is brilliant. I used to play guitar. Back in the USSR is funny, but I think it'd have to be their earlier stuff. Just something simple. I want to hold your hand,' he finally decided. 'Yeah, that one.'

They chatted aimlessly for a while, just enjoying each others company. It was like when they had first met, when they were just finding out about each other. Yet, this time they were finding out important things to each other not just the shallow stuff.

'Boggart?'

'Well done, Rachel, you can say Boggart,' Sirius said. That resulted in a shove, so he stumbled into a flowerbed .

'No, if you were facing a Boggart, what would you see?' Sirius thought about this one. There was silence as he considered it.

'My friends, hurt or dead in anyway and me being blamed for it,' he said. 'They're the most important things in my life and I never would want to do anything that upset them.' He looked embarrassed as he said that, knowing that he had upset her earlier. However, it was a mutual feeling. There was an awkward moment as they both remembered it, but Sirius quickly moved on. 'How about you?'

'Well, I have faced one once in Class. We had a very good teacher,' Hermione said honestly. 'And… ' She paused, unsure whether she wanted to tell Sirius. 'I'll tell you if you promise not to laugh.' Sirius crossed his heart with his fingers.

'Yeah, yeah, tell me.'

'Welll….' she said, drawing it out. 'I saw a report card that didn't have full marks. That's what I WAS afraid of.' Hermione emphasised the was. Sirius spluttered but managed to control himself as she shot him an evil look. 'Now, yeah, I think it would be the same as you. Or my friends being dead and it being my fault.' Sirius looked deeply at her.

'I'd die for you,' he said, seriously. 'That doesn't make it your fault, you're just worth saving.' Hermione gave him a quick smile.

'Thank you,' she murmured, there was no other reply to a statement like that. He smiled back and kissed her on the top of her head. She felt a glow go through her at his touch.

'Ah,' he said. 'Here we are.' They came to a part of the park where there was a large oak tree with protective branches. Under one, there was a small iron wrought table and chairs with two solid silver candlesticks on. There was also two presents on the table, and a BBQ one side. Sirius untucked one of the chairs from under the table so that Hermione could sit down. He then sat in the chair, opposite, and pushed the presents towards her. She quickly undid the ribbon and ripped off the wrapping paper of the first present. It was a photo album. She pulled it out, and flicked through it quickly. It was full of candid shots, most of which she did not realise was being taken. There was some of their game of it, quite a few of her and Sirius kissing, which they thought they were doing secretly. There was even a few of her and Snape in the library, deep in conversation. There were lots from the party, photos she did not even remember being taken even though she was smiling straight at the camera.

'Lily did it. It was going to be a present for the end of term, but obviously…' Sirius trailed off, not wanting to remind them that she was leaving. 'I filled the last few pages full of mementos so that you can remember us by.' There were a few pictures that he had drawn, of various magical creatures. There was quotes from Hamlet adorning the pages, along with things that she had said that he had though were worth remembering. There was a receipt from the Three Broomsticks, a sticker from Honeydukes and a label ffrom the Firewhiskey they had drunk together. He had even managed to find a prefect badge, and part of a towel to remind her of the Prefect's bathroom. She was not likely to forget that. She was speechless, one of the rare moments in her life when she did not know what to say. Instead, she returned to the presents. She unwrapped the next one and just before she was about to open the box, Sirius grazed her shin with his barefoot under the table and startled her. She looked up at him as he spilt a quick secret.

'The reason this is so perfect,' Sirius said. 'Is because the room knew I required whatever it took to make you happy again. I created your dress and the photo album, well, that was everyone, really, but the park was all down the room. It knows what you need. That present was already here when I asked it to make you happy again, so that'll be a perfect present.'

'Ah, I was wondering how you made it exactly how I imagined it,' Hermione said. 'You're not that perfect,'

'Oi, I pretty much am.' She giggled.

'The photo album is perfect, I couldn't have asked for anything more,' she told him earnestly, as she scored the selotape of the box with her fingernail and broke it open. She tipped the box onto the table. The item tumbled out.

Sirius did not understand why Rachel had burst into tears, again. He thought it was going really well. Perfect, even. He looked at the item, he did not know why it was so upsetting to her.

On the table was an hourglass.


	22. i'm not giving up

Sirius was completely confused. The room knew that Sirius required Rachel to be happy, the hourglass must be part of that so why had she burst into tears? They did not look like tears of joy, they looked like tears of heart wrenching sorrow. He pushed the table out of the way, as it acted like a barrier between the two of them. He knocked his chair to the floor in his eagerness to comfort her. He knelt at her feet, resting his head on her knees. He felt her body shake as the tears flowed. After a while, they subsided and Sirius felt her warm hand pat his shaggy hair. He got up, satisfied that she had wept it all out. She was no longer crying, but she was not smiling either. Instead, she had a look of what he could only describe as resolution on her face.

'Hey, what was that about?' he asked, concerned. He was used to seeing her laughing when she was around him, not crying, yet that had changed in the past day. She ignored his question.

'Sirius, I love you,' she told him.

'I know, Rachel, I know. I love you too.' She took his statements and gave him a lingering kiss, her lips capturing his. Her lips burning against his, her tongue settling into a rhythm. For a moment, time stood still as they kissed. She finally settled back down, looking at him with love and hurt in her eyes. He wanted to kiss all that hurt out of her, but figured it would take more time than this evening for that.

'Sirius, I'm…' He started to get worried, as she broke the sentence off and instead took a step back towards the table her hand hovering above the hour glass. He watched as she put her hand on the top of it, her eyes welling up with tears. 'I'm sorry.' Her words were spoken so softly they were almost lost to the sudden wind. Sirius's fringe covered his eyes before he had time to reply. When he had finally pushed the hair back into some semblance of control and could see again, Rachel had disappeared along with the hour glass. For a second, he wondered if it was a mean trick, but no one was that good an actress. He didn't react for a while, just staring at where she had once been.

* * *

Hermione hugged onto the portkey as she was transported. It offered her little comfort as magic dragged her away from the one boy she had loved completely and been loved in return. She arrived in the Room of Requirement, which had shrunk somewhat since her date. The floor was covered in cushions though, anticipating her return. She fell to the floor, tossing the portkey at a wall which gave a satisfactory clunk. It did little to get rid of her grief, though, and she just lay on the floor on top of several large red cushions. She had given Sirius no explanation, she had just disappeared. She had never felt worse in her life. Even if she could just give him a letter so he would understand everything, it would make everything better. However, that was simply not possible. She could tell the portkey was devoid of magic now, that was a given anyway. It was like having a ticket from a return journey, but the ticket could only work that once.

She felt awful, this was worse than waiting for exam results. At least they did not affect anyone else. She had to go back to her own time, though, Wizarding laws decreed it, as did common sense and the thought of Harry, Ron and her parents. She was too upset to think of them, now, though and instead just remembered Sirius's face of bewilderment and pain as she disappeared. She did not want it to happen like that, she had planned to tell him everything, but she could not rely on the Room of Requirement at all and had to just take chances as they came. She groaned, and rolled on her side, the pain of her actions killing her.

Hermione had lost all sense of time when she finally got up. She had already been gone a week so what was a few more days? She left the solitude of the Room of Requirement. Hogwarts had not changed one bit, it was just her that had. She drifted along the corridors not bumping into anyone she recognised. She was glad of this, though, she was not up to facing anyone but Ron and Harry just yet. They were the only two people that could compare to Sirius.

Eventually, she came to the Gryffindor Dormitory. As she pushed open the door, she almost expected Sirius to be sitting in the one of the armchairs with a lazy grin on his face beckoning her to his lap with a crooked finger and Remus and James engaged into one of their never ending games of Chess. However, this was not the scene she met. Instead, Ron and Harry were sitting by the fire staring at the door. As they noticed her enter the room, they ran up and hugged her.

'Where the hell have you been, Hermione?!' Ron yelled, probably sounding more like his mother than he ever wanted to.

'You've been gone for hours!' Harry put in. 'We couldn't find you anywhere! You weren't even in the Library!'

Both of the boys tried to look angry but instead just hugged her, relieved.

'Where did you go, anyway?' Ron asked after they had both calmed down and allowed Hermione to breathe after crushing her in their hug.

'To find something….' Hermione said, vaguely. Harry and Ron looked shocked, she never did anything without them. She was also a lot more sure of herself than she seemed right now.

'What?' Harry demanded to know, curious about the adventures one of his best friends had been having without him.

'Oh, myself,' she said. 'Love, a bit of a fun, I'm not sure.' The sight of her two friends had dragged her out of the stupor that she had felt since leaving Sirius. It was strange only a few hours had passed since leaving the room, it had felt like a lifetime. In some senses, it was. She was now a different person. She was happy that they had missed her, though, she had wanted to feel like that before she'd disappeared. It was strange, she loved Sirius with all her heart, but she felt complete with Harry and Ron. Sirius and her were two different people that had come together. Her, Ron and Harry were 3 parts of the same thing.

'Did you find it?' Ron questioned, not knowing whether to laugh at her claim to have found herself or not. A stern look for Harry not to disturb her mood told him not would probably be the best plan.

'Yes,' she admitted. 'I found all three.' Ron looked slightly crestfallen but Harry was beaming at her, obviously proud that she had let her hair down a bit and had become less stuck up.

'Well, I've lost one,' Ron said. 'Me and Lavender broke up. Realised I wasn't her 'Won Won' after all.' Harry didn't react to the news, he'd already been audience to the massive argument the two of them had had in the centre of the Common Room earlier on, but Hermione gasped.

'Oh, no,' Hermione tried to put some sincerity in her words, but couldn't quite manage it. The three of them made eye contact with each other and starting laughing until they were crying. It was just euphoria from Hermione's return, it seemed they could not cope even a few hours without her. 'Poor Won Won.'

Both the boys stopped laughing and looked straight at her.

'Hermione,' Harry started.

'Did you just make a joke?' Ron finished, in awe. She looked happily at the two of them.

'Yeah, guess I did,' she said, smiling. They all started laughing again over the revelation that Hermione wasn't always serious.

* * *

When it was clear she was not returning, Sirius began the lonely journey back to the door. He shuffled along the path, dragging his feet, at a complete loss of what to do. He trudged wearily up the stairs of the Gryffindor tower, like a condemned man to the noose. When he entered the Common Room, his friends picked up on his mood. They noticed that Rachel must have left and bringing it up would not help. Cheering him up would just be patronizing. Instead, Remus and James chose to distract him. They had a pile of books one side of them and scrolls and quills and inks the other.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to go to his bed and hide away from the world, but James and Remus barred the way. They were not going to let him wallow in self pity.

'Sirius,' James called. Sirius just stood there like a zombie. It took a couple more attempts of the two of them repeating his name until he acknowledged their presence.

'Yeah,' he said, blankly.

'We're making a map of Hogwarts,' Remus said. There was no reaction at all. 'We're going to plot not only all the rooms, but the secret passageways too.' This seemed to interest Sirius slightly more, and a little bit of life flooded back into his face. The idea of mischief always did that to him. 'We also reckon we can find an enchantment so that everyone comes up on the map too, so that we know where teachers are and stuff.' Siriius bent down next to them, lying on front, studying one of the books they already had open. His brain quickly whirred as he figured out the logistics of it all. Remus and James smiled the smiles of success. They couldn't make him forget Rachel, they doubted there was a spell strong enough to do that, but they could at least distract him from the thought of her for a while.

_Erm. Still haven't decided whether it's gonna be a happy/sad/really sad/canon/Hermione & Sirius getting back together/Sirius knowing the truth ending yet so maybe you guys could decide for me? Dumbledore's going to appear in the next chapter, I know that much. Any reviews would be super fun. It may be a while until I update next as I have A Level exams to fail and that's keeping me busy. Sorry, the chapters are getting a bit rubbish. I'm kinda distracted atm.  
_


	23. this city's made us crazy

_Hey, sorry about the delay in updating. I've had A Level exams and all this other stuff has been happening and yeah. It's not really worth the wait, this is a rubbish chapter but I couldn't let Hermione and Sirius say goodbye like that._

A few weeks after her return, Hermione received an owl in her Herbology lesson. The owl dived into the Greenhouse through an open window and crashed headfirst into a flowerbed. It got up and Hermione brushed the soil of its head. She was not expecting post of any sort and was very surprised when it nipped at her fingers. She ripped the envelope of its leg and it flew out again, just a blot against the blue sky. She sometimes wished she could escape her classes in the same way. However, she turned her mind to the matter in hand and opened the envelope. She recognised the precise, slightly old fashioned handwriting as Dumbledore's and her hand trembled as she read the note.

'Dear Miss Granger,

I am writing to request your company tonight at 5 o'clock in my office.

Don't worry, you are not in trouble of any sort. Certain teachers are just worried about your behaviour and it was suggested that a talk with me was the best idea. After all, we wouldn't want our star pupil failing her N.E.W.T.s!

Yours sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore.

P.S. Feel free to bring chocolate and the password is 'strawberry laces'.'

Hermione was shocked, for two reasons. One, Dumbledore wanted a meeting with her! Although the head teacher came across as friendly in the beginning of term, when he addressed the whole school and the few times he had spoken to her over the years due to the adventures that her, Harry and Ron had had, he was still a mysterious figure. Eccentric, no doubt, and a genius too but elusive all the same. Harry had a closer relationship with him but even he knew very little. The other reason was that it was not a request, despite the start of the letter. The owl had not waited for her reply. It was a demand, she was expected to go.

Harry and Ron had both noticed her eyes widen and her jaw drop.

''Mione?' Harry tried to catch her attention. 'Who's it from?'

'Dumbledore,' she said, dazed. 'He wants me to see him, tonight.'

Ron and Harry were not as shocked as Hermione. She had been acting out of sorts. She would forget to go to lessons or do homework, distracted by something. They would often find her back in the common room, playing Exploding Chess on her own, or walking past the wall where the Room of Requirement's door was, muttering under her voice. She was prone to bouts of melancholy, and she burst into tears occasionally at random. It was so unlike Hermione who was studious and took school very seriously, and was also a strong character. They had rarely seen her cry, it had happened once in first year when Ron inadvertently insulted her and didn't realise she was within ear shot, and again in third year when he accused her cat of eating his rat. Instead of hanging out in the Library, which used to be her favourite place, her new haunt was the top of one of the towers within the castle. She often came back from there smelling like cigarette smoke. The two of them had tried to ignore it and just support her, but it had continued long enough. They had confided in Mrs McGonagall, who had similar concerns. Dumbledore seemed like the obvious person that she would go to. They were thankful of the head teacher's tact, who had not mentioned them in the letter.

'Are you gonna go?' Ron asked.

'I have to,' Hermione said, and would talk no more about it.

At 5, Harry and Ron both walked her to Dumbledore's office, not least because she didn't know quite where it was. She was clutching a bar of Honeyduke's Best Chocolate - hoping it was good enough for the head teacher. Harry montioned at the Gargoyle.

'You have to tell him the password,' he instructed. 'That's the only entrance.' Hermione nodded firmly, with more conviction than she felt.

'Strawberry laces,' she told the Gargoyle. It let her pass and she walked up the stairs to Dumbledore's office. She knew that Harry had been here quite a lot and wondered how he managed it; she felt extremely intimidated. However, she stuck her chin out and took a deep breathe in so that she would calm down.

'Ah, Miss Granger,' a deep voice welcomed her. 'Please, take a seat.'

Hermione entered the large room and saw Dumbledore, already seated and holding a rather large mug of what she assumed was tea, by the fireplace. He gave a small flick of his wand and summoned another chair to the fireplace. She smiled shyly and sat down next to him, perched on the edge of the seat, her hands clasped nervously in her lap. He looked tired, there were deep lines around his eyes, but he was smiling broadly at her.

'Are you having any problems?' he asked her, staring straight into her eyes as though he can find the truth in them. Hermione gave a offhand shrug.

'No,' she said in a small voice. 'No, I don't think so.' Her voice trembled slightly but she forced herself to return the stare. All she could find in Dumbledore's eyes was warmth and kindness, and some form of understanding.

'Well, a few teachers have picked up on the fact that you no longer have any consistency. You often don't turn up to lessons and when you are in them, you are somewhat distracted. I wonder,' he said, eyes twinkling. 'If it might be a problem of the heart.'

Hermione gave an audible gasp, how on earth could Dumbledore know? He peered over his glasses at her, almost pleased with her reaction.

'You are not the only one to ever have your heart broken,' he said, his voice full of secrets. 'Nor are you the only person to fall in love with someone that you shouldn't.' His eyes glistened, reflecting the flames of the fire. He was as close to tears as she was.

'I know that, sir,' she replied, her voice wavering as though she was on the brink of tears. 'It's just…..' She broke off, unable to continue.

'You miss him so much, you feel that your heart has broken in two. There is no point to anything anymore. All you want to do is just see him again and explain everything. You have your friends but they can not say completely the right things like he does. Do any of those hit the mark?'

Hermione nodded, mutely. All of them echoed how she felt. Dumbledore could only guess that if he had gone through the same thing.

'Forgive me if I'm being too rude, Professor, but who was it?' Dumbledore looked startled at her, not having realised he'd been so obvious. He decided to tell her, though. Perhaps it was because he saw himself in her, perhaps he was fed up of carrying the burden on his own.

'It was the impossible,' he said. A vague remark but Hermione completely understood. 'It never could have worked. I always knew that but I still miss him.'

Him? This was a turn up for the books. She knew that Dumbledore was not married and had never been linked to anyone but she had never once considered he was gay. She had a feeling it was not a phase, like it had appeared to be with Remus but instead was a terrible secret that not many knew. He coughed, gently, and Hermione looked back up at her head teacher.

'You will not believe me if I tell you the name of the young man I was once in love with,' he said.

'I fear the same is true for me, sir,' Hermione replied.

'Ah. No, I know all about you and Sirius. I even knew before you did.' Tonight was just a night of surprises and shocks. Dumbledore would never cease to amaze. 'As head teacher, Hogwarts does offer up some of its secrets to me, of which I am very grateful.'

I

Hermione's mind silently whirred as she dealt with the news that Dumbledore had just delivered. He knew? He knew and never once told her or warned her. She was aware that he was involved with something higher that she would never understand, but she would have appreciated some sort of message. If he knew the pain she was going through at leaving Sirius behind, why didn't he at least give her a clue? She was no longer sad, she was angry at the old man before her.

'If you knew, why couldn't have you have told me? You won't even tell me who you were in love with, yet you know the same of me.' Dumbledore glanced at her sadly, shaking his head softly as though he was reaching an decision inside his own head. He murmured something and Hermione had to ask him to repeat it.

'Grindelwald,' he said, slightly louder, his head bowed out of shame. Hermione's eyes widened. It would appear that there was nothing that could not happen in this large office tonight. She wondered if Harry knew, but she doubted it. Somehow, Dumbledore knew the truth about her and was also willing to tell her the truth about him. She had a feeling it was more than her N.E.W.T grades that were at risk here.

'The Dark Wizard?' Dumbledore gave her a brief nod and stared back at the floor, twisting his hands. 'But…' Hermione recalled what she knew of Gellert Grindelwald. 'You dueled him and won, you imprisoned him. He was your enemy, you can not have been lovers!' Her voice rose, getting louder and louder.

'Ah , the foolishness of the young,' he stated. 'It was a long time ago. I was not always the person I am before you now. I could have been as dangerous as both him or Voldemort but the choices we make…' He trailed off, allowing Hermione to fill in the blanks.

'Sir,' she said timidly after a while in silence as they both just thought. 'What is the real reason I'm here?'

'Ah,' he said. 'You have realised that there is an ulterior motive. You always were a bright girl. You did not have any classes with me whilst you were …. Back at Hogwarts, but I was a teacher at the same time. One night, I found a young man in the bathrooms, sobbing his eyes out with a razorblade in his hand I fear he was planning to kill himself. It was not just because of you, Sirius was a troubled young man for a number of reasons. He sought my help and asked if it was possible, in the simplest terms, to see you again. He did not quite word it this way but it is what he meant. I realised that his survival and eventually his death again would be essential for the battle against Voldemort. I can not tell you why without betraying the gravest of magic laws and changing events that have not yet come to pass. I do know, however, that you see Sirius one more time. I shall not tell you when, you decide this yourself.'

He stopped talking, and Hermione took everything in. Due to all the revelations tonight, she had grown numb to shock. As she grew up as a Muggle, yet was thrust into this wizarding world - she had learnt that far weirder things were true. She had learnt to accept the bizarre, the existence of dragons, the use of magic to tidy up. It was now just part of her everyday life.

'But how?' she asked, eager to see Sirius again. Dumbledore stood up and walked away from the fire. He brought over a box and took out what was inside. It was a familiar, if not heartbreaking, object to Hermione. It was the golden hour glass.

'Just be careful,' Dumbledore said. 'Just as I had to accept about Grindelwald, you will have o accept about Sirius. It is impossible. No matter how powerful love can make you feel, it can not make the impossible, possible. If you remember this, you should be fine.' His hands were clenched into fists. Hermione had never seen the head teacher so emotional. 'You are very lucky to be given a chance like this. You can explain yourself and … you are allowed to see him one last time.'

Hermione nodded, knowing there was much Dumbledore was leaving much unsaid. He put the hourglass back in the box and handed it over to her.

'You'll know the right time,' he said, giving her a sad smile.


	24. and we must get out

_Sorry it's taken so long for the update. There is a point for this chapter, kinda. And any reviews would be greatly appreciated!_

Hermione watched as Ron idly tossed a small ball to Harry. It was a Saturday and they had all decided to take a break from studying, having been under immense pressure from teachers all week. Hermione was not as wound up as she normally would be as exams drew nearer. Ron and Harry were almost shocked by her behaviour but did not want to disturb it as, since returning from Dumbledore's office a few weeks ago, she had been injected with vigour and a new lease of life. They had just assumed that the Head teacher knew the inner workings of the teenage female mind as well as he knew the twelve uses for dragon blood. Still, they were surprised that she wasn't clutching a textbook, feverishly memorising each page, as they enjoyed the sunshine in the school grounds next to the Great Lake.

'Bloody…!' Hermione's thoughts were interrupted by Ron's exclamation. 'I'm not getting that, mate.'

'You should've caught it!' Harry said, his voice full of amusement.

'You shouldn't have thrown it so far,' Ron said, grumbling. 'I can't be arsed to walk all the way over there.' He emphasised his point by flopping himself on the ground, next to where Hermione was sitting. She turned and smiled at him, poking him with her wand.

'Lazy bum,' she told him. Harry joined them, creating a small circle on the grass. He ran his hand through his hair, an action she was so used to see his father do. He pushed it out his eyes, a stubborn strand staying in place.

'Dean was teaching me about this other game, anyway, called Feetball.' Ron said, not understanding why Hermione and Harry had starting giggling. He gave them both a friendly shove. 'What's so funny? Dean says Feetball is really good.'

They both dissolved, unable to breathe. Once Hermione had wiped the tears from her eyes and the colour of her cheeks had returned to normal, rather than bright red, she corrected one of her oldest friends.

'Football, Ron, it's called football.' He gave a typical boy shrug.

'Doesn't matter what it's called. I'd still beat you at it.' Hermione snorted but it was too warm to argue the point. She lay back in the grass, resting her head on her scrunched up cardigan. The peace was soon disturbed though, as two familiar yet surprising figures cast a shadow over where Hermione, Harry and Ron were lying and thought it would be funny to cast a klaxon spell. Hermione groaned and Harry and Ron jumped up, ready to retaliate with another spell.

'Wakey, wakey. Haven't you got work you need to do?' one of the newcomers said.

'George, you absolute git,' Ron scowled at his older brother.

'You're 17 now, Ron, you should be able to tell the difference between me and Fred now,' the other young man said.

'You're 19 now, George,' Ron replied. 'You shouldn't be at school even if you hadn't left last year without doing any exams.'

'Only joking, I am George,' the original twin that had spoken said. 'Anyway, we're here to promote our shop. Hogwarts students get 10% discount. Well, at least if they're in Gryffindor, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. It's a new deal we've got going.'

'Slytherin got 10% added on,' Fred said. 'I reckon it's a good idea.'

Harry laughed at their plans and invited them to sit down. Ron pulled faces and mumbled under his voice, but he had missed his brothers. It was odd, he had been used to Hogwarts with them causing mischief but also standing up for him.

'I have missed this place,' George said, glancing around nostalgically.

'Yeah, missed the free food and the fact the house elves did all the cleaning,' Fred amended his twin's remark.

'Missed Angelina's and Katie's faces when they got mad when we traded places for a few weeks.'

'Missed bewitching objects to follow Filch around and hit him on the back of the head.'

'Missed the statue over there,' Harry, Ron and Hermione follow George's finger to a headless statue. 'That was a good night.'

Fred gave a appreciate chuckle.

'Yeah, I just wish I remembered it.'

Ron gave a cough and George reached over and ruffled his hair, patronizingly and reminiscent of the boys' mother.

'Yeah, missed you too little brother. How are you and Lavender?'

'Broke up,' Ron said casually. 'She's a bit mental, that one.'

'All girls are, mate,' Fred warned him.

'Oi!' Hermione exclaimed, outraged, hitting Fred on the arm.

''Mione, you don't count,' Fred said, hastily correcting himself. 'You're not a girl.' Hermione raised her eyebrow at the comment but did not take too much offense. She knew what they meant.

'Where's Ginny?' George scanned the field, trying to catch a glimpse of the distinctive red hair of the Weasley clan.

'Dunno,' Ron said.

'Probably snogging Dean somewhere,' Harry said, with a bitter tone in his voice.

'OI!' Three voices simultaneously shouted.

'That's our little sister you're talking about,' George said.

'Anyway, she can't be interested in boys yet. She's only 11. She doesn't even know what one is,' Fred said.

Hermione sighed, exasperated.

'She's fifteen, boys. She has been for a few months. And it's not so much her being interested in boys, but boys being interested in her.'

George and Fred flexed their muscles, just in case Dean happened to walk past at that point.

'So..' Harry tried to keep his voice casual. 'Would you not let Ginny date anyone?'

'No,' Fred said firmly. 'Not until she's at least 25.'

Harry felt his heart sink. He really liked Ginny. She was outrageous, probably a trait inherited from her older brothers. She was not like other girls, she never cried or whined or did anything like that. Plus, it didn't hurt that she was absolutely beautiful.

Hermione made a small noise, stood up and waved.

'Speak of the devil,' George said as Ginny walked over by herself. This was probably a stroke of luck for Dean.

Ginny plonked herself down next to Harry who was trying not to stare too much at her slender legs that were not very well hidden by the pair of denim shorts she was wearing. Shorts, indeed. She batted her eyelids at the twins.

'Talking about me, again? I thought you'd got bored of that.'

'Yeah, just hearing about you and Dean,' Fred said, in a light yet protective tone of voice.

'Oh,' Ginny said. 'We broke up.' She said it as casually as Ron had spoken about Lavender. 'Just wasn't working.' Harry felt his heart take a large leap. He tried not to smile too widely. No one noticed, though, attention was all on Ginny's nonchalant demeanour.

'Good!' George said. 'You should be focussing on your studies, not on boys.' Ginny snorted.

'Oh, because you're are a perfect example of that? You fell asleep in your history exam one year because you'd stayed up all night trying to convince Angelina to go out with you!'

George winked at her.

'Worked though, didn't it?'

Ginny throw her hands up in the air.

'I don't know why I try being reasonable with you, I honestly don't.'

'Me neither,' Hermione agreed with her young friend. She cast a disdainful eye over the group. 'Boys are rubbish.'

'OI!' This was becoming a popular word. 'No, we're not,' a lilting Irish voice from behind them said.

'Girls are,' another voice said angrily. Everyone sitting in the circle on the grass moved around to let Seamus and Dean sit down. Dean made a great point of sitting as far as he could from Ginny and huffing loudly. George and Fred looked ready to punch him, but Hermione and Ginny lay a calming hand on each of them and shook their head. The tension from the circle disappeared, however, as Luna and Neville also made their way over.

'It's true!' Neville said, adamant in whatever he believed.

'It's not!' Luna said, equally as adamantly. Their argument seemed harmless though. Luna turned, her long blonde hair whipping around. 'You can lick your own elbow, can't you?' Hermione gave a giggle. She'd had this argument just a few days ago. No, wait. Over 20 years ago. God, it all seemed so weird. Hermione gave a solemn nod in response to Luna's question.

'Yeah, you can. I've seen it.'

'See!' Luna said triumphantly. 'You shouldn't believe everything you read.'

George and Fred were too busy trying to lick their own elbows than to make a joke about Luna's almost hypocritical remark. Ron and Harry watched them interested, having made a bet on who was most likely to do it first.

'Yes! Hand it over, mate,' Ron demanded as Fred's tongue managed to just touch his elbow. Harry groaned, but dug into his pocket and pulled out some sickles.

Neville shrugged and looked defeated. Dean picked up on his expression and stood up. In his hands, he was holding a football.

'Anyone up for a game?' Ron looked excitedly at the object that looked like a big version of a Bludger.

'Feetball!' he exclaimed, causing Seamus, Dean, Hermione and Harry all to laugh.

'Football, yeah,' Dean said. 'We can use jumpers as goal posts and I'll explain the rules to those who don't know as we go along. You pretty much just have to kick the ball into the goal.'

George and Fred's eyes widened in shock at how simple the game was.

'No bats or brooms or balls that fly and could attack you?'

'Nope,' Dean said. 'Just the one ball on the ground.'

They shared a look of incredulous but shrugged.

'Yeah, sounds like a laugh. We'll play.' The rest of the group stood up, eager to distract Neville from losing his argument.

'Me too,' Ginny said.

'And me,' Hermione said.

'I'm game,' Harry said.

'I don't think I'll be very good….' Neville trailed off. 'But I'll join in.'

'I read football's warding off pixies,' Luna said. 'I don't like pixies.'

'Cool, well, we're gonna need two teams.'

Hermione narrowed her eyes at Ron, remembering his earlier comment.

'How about girls versus guys?' she suggested. Harry looked at her.

'Hermione, I thought you were meant to be smart. There's three girls and seven guys.'

'We'll solve that!' the twins volunteered and used a quick spell to transform their suits into dresses. The peals of laughter coming from the rest of the group attracted quite a bit of attention from the rest of the students on the field, many of whom had missed the Weasley's mischief. The football match was gaining quite a crowd. Hermione and Ginny also used a couple of spells on them that made their hair grow long, into luscious ginger curls, and the look was complete.

'Five a side. Wicked,' Dean said, rubbing his hands together. Seamus was setting up the goals with people's jumpers. 'I guess… I'll be referee too.'

'I can be referee,' a little voice piped up. Colin Creevey weaved to the front of the crowd. 'I love football. I support Arsenal.'

'Arsenal?! I thought you said you loved football,' Dean retorted. Those accustomed to football laughed at the insult and Creevey blushed. Seamus felt bad and clapped him on the back.

'Yeah, that'd be grand, mate.' The girls kicked off, the guys decided they needed all the advantages they could get and the match began.

It was nearing the end of the match. The score was 5-5. It had been a vicious match, with both sides willing to cheat and use spells in order to win. Many of the guys had fallen victim to Ginny's bat hex. George was in possession of the ball, managed to get it past Seamus and crossed it to Ginny who was running up the other side of the pitch. She deftly switched the ball from one foot to the other, getting closer and closer to the goal.

'BLOODY TACKLE HER!' Ron bellowed at Dean, who was defending. He looked at his ex-girlfriend who had, what he thought, a smug smile on her face. She hadn't even explained why she'd broken up with him! He went in for the tackle with both feet, sliding. He wasn't going for the ball, he was just trying to take her down. And he succeeded. She got tangled up in his legs and tripped to the ground. The crowd booed loudly and heckled Dean. Ginny managed to get her hands down in front of her so she wouldn't hit her head. Her ankle was another matter, though, and as Dean feigned an apology so none of her brothers would beat him up, she touched it gingerly. Harry rushed over, panicking because Ginny might be injured. He'd rather he be hurt than her. He sat down by her feet and gently massaged her ankle with his thumbs. She winced a few times but didn't make a joke out of what he was doing. It just felt like the most natural thing in the world.

'Thanks, Harry,' she murmured, struggling to get up. He stood up before her and lent her a hand, pulling her up. She stood, facing him, a hair breadth away. He could smell her familiar perfume from here. It just smelt like her and everything he associated with her. He did not notice anything else around him as she looked curiously into his eyes. Her lips were so close and yet so far. The moment was broken, however, when Colin Creevey came over and blew the whistle. They took a step back from each other and shrugged it off, like nothing unusual had just happened.

'Penalty to the girls,' he shouted so the whole pitch could hear him. The crowd all gave a massive cheer. 'Red card for Dean.'

Dean took his send off rather well and joined other Gryffindor students who were watching the match. He didn't want to draw attention to the fact he'd just physically hurt his ex.

Ginny stepped up to take it. The ball was settled on the ground in front of her. Neville looked terrified in goal. Hermione, Luna, George and Fred were all cheering her on. She took a step back, and imagining it was Dean's face, took a massive kick. Neville dived completely the wrong way in order to save it, but even if he had dived the right way he wouldn't have been able to stop it. It sailed right past the two jumpers and didn't lose all its momentum for a while yet. Ginny turned triumphantly to her team mates who were all running towards her. The other team were kicking the grass up and trying not to look too humiliated. Creevey blew the whistle again to signify the end of the match.

As Hermione helped Fred and George lift their little sister onto their shoulders for a celebratory lap around the field, she felt normal again. Her head and heart were in the right place. Maybe this is what Dumbledore meant when he said that'd she'd know the right time. This felt as right a time as ever to go back in time and see Sirius just once more.


	25. whoa

_Short chapter but I hope you enjoy it__. Even if you don't, a review would still be nice. It vaguely ends on a cliff-hanger so if you want the next chapter, review! Or don't._

Sirius, James and Remus all glowed with a sense of accomplishment. The map, the very same map they had spent months slaving over, lay in front of them on the desk. It had taken months to find spells and tweak them in order for the map to do exactly what was needed. They had put Peter's name on it too, just in case it ever fell into the wrong hands and they needed someone else to share the blame with.

Sirius had spent more time than he thought possible in the library, reading book upon book about charms that could be used. He almost understood Rachel's attraction to them. Libraries were places of secrets and learning and magic. He had even started going to the library to revise. Revise? Sirius Black? The world was turning into one crazy place. Well, in more ways than one. Hogwarts was not so insular that the students were not aware of what was happening in the outside world. There was news that a dark wizard was gaining more and more supporters and power. Maybe that was the reason for his revising. In case the dark wizard ever did become very powerful, aurors would be need. Pft. Nah, the reason he was revising was because of Rachel. It helped take his mind of her. His friends helped as well, but emerged in Goblin history meant he was distracted.

'Who wants to test it?' Remus asked, ever the sensible one.

'I'm sure it works,' James said, ever the arrogant one.

'I will,' Sirius said, ever the daring one. He tapped the map. 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.' The map seemed to come to life and black ink etched across the parchment, drawing the grounds of Hogwarts and all the people in it. Bizarrely, none of the three boys had managed to coerce the map into showing the Room of Requirement. It was the most bizarre part of Hogwarts, Sirius had secretly decided. It was probably a good thing that it couldn't be plotted; he had too many memories of Rachel in that room.

It was odd seeing his, James and Remus's names above dots in the Gryffindor common room. He looked closer at the map, the names all corresponded to the people in the room.

'Guys, I think there's a mistake. It's not perfect yet,' he said, squinting closely. Remus and James looked shocked. They thought they had ironed out all the problems.

'What?!' James said, running a hand through his messy hair. 'You gotta be kidding me.'

'Are you sure?' Remus asked, practical like always.

'Well…yeah, I think so,' Sirius said faintly. 'Says there's a girl with the name Hermione Granger in the boys dorm.'

'Granger…' Remus said thoughtfully, 'I have never met another wizard or witch with the surname Granger. Unless, it's a foreign one or something. Granger doesn't sound very foreign, though, it sounds English.'

'Forget about her name, what's she doing in the boys dorm?' James wanted to know.

'Nah,' Sirius shook his head. 'Her name's important. I don't remember a Hermione Granger ever coming to Hogwarts.'

'You can't know the name of every student here, Pads,' Remus reminded him.

'Yeah, but even so. I don't recognise it at all and not every student. She's in the Gryffindor boys' dorm. She must, if she went to this school, be a Gryffindor.'

The three of them puzzled over the little mystery. James and Remus just shrugged it off.

'Yeah, you're right. Must be a fault with the map. We'll sort it out later,' Remus said. 'I'm too hungry to care right now.'

'Yeah, dinner time,' James said. Sirius still hadn't taken his eyes off the map as the two others made a move from the door. The little dot hadn't moved at all.

'I'll meet you down there,' he said absently. 'Might as well check if there is anyone in the boys' dorms.'

James and Remus smiled at each other. It would appear that Sirius had managed to move on from Rachel if he was taking interest in a girl, even if she may not exist. They left him to it, promising to save him a seat.

He walked over to the door leading to the boys' dorms. He wasn't really sure what he was doing but then again, he wasn't really sure what a girl was doing in his room. He wasn't really sure there was a girl. He pushed the door open gently, with more conviction that he felt. He did not want to disturb the girl, in case there was one, he wanted to know what she was doing. He quietly slid past the barely open door into the room. In the light of early evening filtering through the windows, he could see a figure bent over his bed.

'Oi!' The noise startled her, startled this Hermione girl that no one knew, and caused her to stand up. She was stood directly in front of the window and the fading sun illuminated her features. Features that Sirius knew very well.

'Rachel…..?'


	26. dear sirius

Dear Sirius,

I never meant to lie to you but I'm not sure the truth would have been the best thing.

But here is the truth.

My name is Hermione Granger.

I am 17.

I like menthol cigarettes, warm nights and postcards of places I've never been.

I don't like marmite, having cold feet or being tapped on the back of the head.

I am from the future. I know you there too.

I am not French.

I have never been to Beuxbatons.

I am in Gryffindor at Hogwarts.

We can't ever see each other again.

I will always love you.

Hermione.

Dear Sirius,

I am sorry, sorry, a billion times sorry.

The only thing I want to tell you more than that I'm sorry is that I love you.

The only thing I can mean more than I'm sorry is that I love you.

I hope you do not hate me too much. I never meant for any of it to happen but I am glad it did.

All my apologies and my heart too,

Hermione (Rachel)

Dear Sirius

Hope you had fun. Bet you didn't see that coming.

Lots of love, Rachel.

P.S Study hard for your exams!

Dear Sirius,

I miss you.

I miss your messy hair,

I miss your grey eyes that I always got lost in.

I miss your crooked smile when you were up to no good.

I miss the way you looked at me like nothing else mattered and I was the best thing in your life.

I miss your arrogance, your stubbornness, your intelligence, the fact you could make me laugh no matter what the situation, your kisses, that lock of hair that always fall out of place, everything you told me that you never told anyone else, your ability to have fun, your hands when they stroked the inside of my arm, your body the first time I saw you topless, your resourcefulness, your daring, the little crinkle you get at the bridge of your nose when you're concentrating, the way you care about your friends, the things you do because you think they'll please me, when you hug me from behind, your smell, when you go quiet because something has upset you and I'm the only one that realises, your necklace with a silver star at the end that you always wear and think no one has noticed.

Most of all, I miss the way you always said the right thing.

I think I miss you enough for the both of us.

All my love,

your perfect girl.

Dear Sirius,

I love you.

I love that lock of your messy hair that doesn't ever stay in place.

I love getting lost in your grey eyes.

I love your cheeky smile with one dimple when you've come up with a good idea.

I love the way you looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered to you.

I love that you know my favourite colour, our date, sharing firewhiskey and cigarettes, going on midnight broomstick rides with you, cheering you on when you won the Quidditch, resting my head on your stomach when I sunbathe, hearing you laugh, knowing what you are thinking, the ticklish spot behind your ear, going swimming with you, your arms when they're wrapped around my waist, when you kiss my neck, when you're sleeping next to me and you look like nothing could trouble you, that you love marmite but you don't eat it because you know I hate it, listening to you speak, your necklace with a silver star at the end that you always wear and think no one has noticed.

Most of all, I love that you always say exactly the right thing.

I think I love you enough for both of us.

Miss you,

Your perfect girl.

Dear Sirius

………


	27. truth

'Rachel….?'

Hermione bit her lip to prevent herself from gasping. She never though she'd hear his voice again. She looked straight into his eyes; the grey of them seemed stormy, a mix of hurt, pain, confusion and a little hope. He took a step towards her, as though he could not believe she was really there. She took a step back, not wanting him to come to close. As her body shifted out of the way of his bed, he could see the envelope she was placing on his pillow.

Sirius watched as she opened her mouth, as though she wanted to say something, and shut it again, as though she was not sure what she was saying was the right thing. There was an envelope where her hands she had just been. He recognised her writing from essays he had copied off her. It was tiny and neat, with small flourishes on certain letters. It reminded him of her.

'Hi, Sirius,' Hermione said, her voice a lot stronger than she felt. She laughed, awkwardly, not sure what to say. Maybe it wasn't so great an idea coming back. Her heart still ached seeing him. She just wanted to rush over, push that rebellious lock of hair out of his eyes and feel his body against hers. Warn him against everything that was going to happen, about Peter, about Voldemort, about James and Lily. She couldn't, though; she couldn't save the one man she had truly loved. 'Erm…'

The silence panned out in front of them, causing the gap between them to be that much bigger. Sirius tried to think of something funny to say but just stared at Rachel instead. Took in every part of her, her beautiful curly brown hair, her deep browns eyes that both laughed at and trusted him at the same time, her smile that reassured him but gave him butterflies too. He never though he'd see them again. He took a step closer to her, praying that she wouldn't back away from him again. She didn't. She stood there, just watching him curiously, on the edge of telling him something but just allowing the silence to continue.

'Hey, Ra..'

'No!' The outburst seemed to break the spell. 'Sorry… I'm sorry.' She glanced at the floor. He at least deserved the truth so she took a deep breath and dug up the courage to look him in the eyes again. 'My name is Hermione.'

Sirius's eyes widened with shock. Well, at least their map wasn't at fault. He took another step towards her. He was so surprised to see her that his mind wasn't contemplating other lies she may have told him.

'Hey, Hermione.' The name tumbled past his lips; it tasted odd in his mouth. The change of name had changed the girl in front of him. She was now a completely different person. 'Fancy seeing you here.' The chuckle died in his throat as she just stared at him, biting her lips ; lips he was all too familiar of, lips he had kissed, lips he had listened to, lips he had loved. But he had known Rachel's lips, not Hermione's.

'I tried…' Hermione faltered, broke off and started again. 'I tried to write a letter to explain. I must have tried about 100 times but I still couldn't get it right. You deserved more than that, you deserved the truth but I was too much of a coward to tell you.'

Sirius looked at her quizzically and then looked pointedly at the envelope on his bed.

'So,' he said slowly. 'If that's not a letter, what is it?' Hermione glanced at him, almost scared, but bent down and picked up the envelope to pass to him. He took it from her hands, their fingers brushing against each other. She almost jumped at the contact, not sure what to expect.

The envelope jangled softly and was heavier then Sirius expected. He slid his finger under the crease and ripped it open. He tipped the contents into his hand and his eyes grew dark. Hermione took a step towards him and tried to lay a hand on his wrist. He flung his arm up, not wanting her touch.

'Sirius…' she said in a placating tone, as though expecting his anger.

'No!' he shouted, letting the necklace she had returned to him slide to the floor. 'What..?'

'I thought you m…'

'Well, you thought bloody wrong!' That necklace was one of the few presents his family had ever given to him, before he had started Hogwarts, before he was made a Gryffindor, before it was clear he did not fit in with them. Rachel, or Hermione as he now had to think of her, had once mentioned she had liked it so he had given it to her. He had explained how much it meant to him but how she meant so much more. He thought she had treasured it but that was a lie just like anything else he had believed about her.

'Don't you dare!' she yelled back, her cheeks colouring. 'This is just as hard for me!'

'Hard for you? But you knew exactly where I was! I did not disappear in front of your eyes without any explanation! I did not lie about my own name! How am I meant to know if anything you told me is true?'

'BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, OKAY! Everything I have ever told you about myself that truly matters is true.'

Sirius looked at her like she was a complete stranger. In his eyes, she was.

'How am I meant to believe that? I don't even know who Hermione Granger is.'

'FINE!' she said, taking a step back from their argument and resigning herself to the bed. She spoke quickly; as though that was the only way she could deal with it. 'My name is Hermione Granger, I'm 17. I go to Hogwarts but in about 20 years time. I am in Gryffindor just like you and I know you in the future. I didn't choose to come back in time and fall in love with you. The Room of Requirement sent me here and back both times. I once kissed Snape but that's before we went out and I really really really don't like Marmite. There, that's the truth.'

She took a deep breath, as though she had shared more than the truth. Sirius stood there, not knowing whether to laugh, cry or yell some more. 20 years in the future? Was that even possible?

'Hermione….' he began, not knowing which truth to tackle first. 'You kissed Snape?'

_Yeah, this is not a great chapter. I want to finish this story already for a Hermione/Draco one that will follow on from this but actually have a plot/adventure going on. I want a few more reviews before I finish this story though and post another chapter. ERM. Ideas would be great, I may actually delete this chapter and redo it. Happy ending/Sad ending? Any suggestions would be lovely._


	28. end

Hermione laughed. She couldn't help it.

'You're a plonker,' she told Sirius. 'An absolute plonker.'

He gave her that familiar cheeky grin but his eyes didn't quite make the smile. They were full of confusion and hurt. She felt her heart breaking all over again as she looked at him. She patted the space on the bed next to her, inviting him to sit down. He shook his head, not wanting to get any closer to her than she was. She didn't seem real, this didn't seem real.

'What now?' he murmured, crossing his arms. Two small, single syllable words yet they meant so much to the both of them. Hermione gave a small, defeated shrug. She thought she'd know what she got here what to do. Merlin knows she knew everything else. She reached out to touch him, to comfort him, to get him to uncross his arms, relax and come and sit next to her so she did not feel quite so out of place. He flinched from her hand, though, and drew his arms tighter to his chest.

She stood up, slowly, not wanting to startle him. Sirius stood his ground, watching her warily. Not touching him, she went up on her tiptoes until their lips were level and gently pressed hers against his. She savoured the quick contact but quickly broke it off. He still watched her as she returned to normal level, standing on the flats of her sole. Carefully, ever so carefully, he reached up to her cheek and slowly touched it with the tip of his finger. Hermione was not sure how to react as he softly touched her. He drew away.

'Eyelash,' he said quietly, displaying his fingertip to her which indeed had a long black eyelash on. 'Make a wish.'

Hermione ran through all the wishes she could make, the improbable, the impossible and finally settled at one. She puffed her cheeks and breathed out, blowing the eyelash away as she made her wish. She smiled up at him and she saw a ghost of a smile back. This was enough for her and she threw her arms around his neck before kissing him again; gentle no longer. To her surprise, he complied, kissing her back with all the desperation, passion and sadness he could manage. He picked her up, still joined at the lips and put her down on the bed, following her.

Before long, they were a mess of legs and arms, still fully clothed. Sirius was stroking her cheek, an intimate action of which Hermione appreciated the tenderness of. And they were kissing, kissing, kissing. They had not stopped kissing. It was proving to be a much more effective way of communication compared to talking. Hermione could tell how Sirius felt by the way he was kissing her. Sirius could tell what Hermione could not explain by the way she was kissing him.

Time passed. It could've been minutes, hours, days, even mere seconds. The time was not the important thing, being with each other was. Eventually, they drew away from one another, his hand still resting on her cheek.

'I love you,' she told him.

'I know,' he said. 'I know.' He kissed her at the end of her gorgeous little nose. 'I love you too.' She smiled at that, knowing he meant it. 'What did you wish for?'

'I can't tell you that,' she answered. 'Then it won't come true.'

'Fair enough,' he said, removing his hand from her cheek. Hermione's heart sank for a mere second before she realised he was just brushing the hair out of her eyes. 'I want you to keep it, by the way.'

'Keep what?'

'The necklace.' He pushed himself off the bed and picked the necklace off the floor. He motioned for her to turn around and placed the necklace round her neck, fastening it at the back. Pushing her hair out of the way, he kissed the back of her neck.

'I want to keep it,' she said, turning to face him. They stared at one another, the necklace meaning so much more than a necklace. 'What now?' she murmured softly, repeating his words. He gave the same shrug she did, which would have been funny if it wasn't so tragic.

'Go,' he said. 'I understand.' Hermione's eyes filled with tears but she had already come to the conclusion that it was the only way. She gave him one last peck on the cheek, which he gave a disdainful laugh to before sweeping her up in his arms and giving her a deep kiss. As their tongues met, she felt herself melt in his arms.

'Go,' he broke away and commanded her. She gave a small, determined nod. The time turner/portkey lay on the side and she walked over to it, hand trembling above it. Sirius was watching her and gave her a reassuring smile. Her hand got closer and closer to it, but just before touching it she turned to face him again.

'I wished that you'd be happy, Sirius.'

And with that, she was gone in a whirlwind of magic and reality.

He stared at the space she had been for a while but did not cry. Instead, he sat there with a small smile at the corner of one mouth. He was determined to make her wish come true.


End file.
